The Lawson Boys

3.4

This chapter touches on some sensitive topics. An eating disorder to be exact.

Valerie's P.O.V.

I pulled the plug on the bottom of the tub, I felt the water comb away from my body. Goosebumps rose on my arms and legs as I stood up and climbed out of the hollow white bath and wrapped a pink fluffy towel around my body and my hair. I walked into my bedroom and made my way into my closet to find some pajamas.  I pulled a white night gown out and a pair of white underwear to go underneath it.

I made my way back into my bathroom and closed the door behind me, locking it. I turned Pandora on and put lotion on my arms and legs, slipping my underwear on before putting my nightgown on. I brushed my hair out and French braided it, turning Pandora off and exiting my room. Harper and Robin sat outside in the hot-tub so I went out there. They looked at me at Harper took a deep breath before he covered his eyes and looked away. What? Do I look that bad?

"What?" I looked at both of them.

"Val, you are wearing probably the shortest nightgown ever sold." Harper spoke up.

"And?"

"Well it's very distracting. I'm a 22 year old guy and you didn't think that would distract me at all."

"Well frankly I didn't and don't care."

He stared kind of shocked at me. I gave him a rude smile and turned on my heel to walk away. I went inside the house and sat down. God I'm hungry, but I actually look semi skinny right now and I don't want to ruin that.

You have to eat. I argued with myself.

I'm not eating.

You know, you could always eat and just throw it up.

I never thought I would have this conversation with myself.

And that I am actually considering that idea. I hesitated before I stood up and walked over to the fridge. I never understood the point of eating to throw it up but I figured. There is no point, so why eat?

"Hey, where should I sleep?" Robin walked into the room.

"You can sleep in my room or the guest room."

"I choose the guest room, the last time I tried to sleep in the same bed as you, I ended up on the floor and with a bruise on my head so big my mom thought I had a concussion." She laughed.

"Sorry about that."

"It's fine."

"Do you know if Harper is staying?" I questioned as I swallowed a gulp of water.

"He said he was going to because he has been drinking and didn't want to drive. I don't know where he's sleeping though if I'm taking the guest room."

"He can sleep in my room." I said mindlessly.

"Okay." She said not fully convinced.

Harper walked in suddenly and closed the door behind him. He turned around and looked at us.

"Do I have something on my face?"

"Other than a whole lot of ugliness. No." I laughed. Pay backs a bitch.

"Haha. So where am I crashing tonight?"

"In my room."

He raised his eyebrows. "Oh really?"

I nodded. "I'm going to sleep." I announced as I trailed up the stairs.

Robin walked behind me and behind her was Harper. We all waved goodnight before walking into our rooms. Until I realized that Harper was sleeping in my room. I plopped down on the bed and he shut the lights off as he closed the door. I yawned and stared at the ceiling above me which was completely black from the lack of light. Harper climbed into the bed next to me and I looked at him. Thank heavens the room was so dark otherwise he would see the blush on my cheeks.

"Val, just because it's dark doesn't mean I can't tell you're staring at me."

"Whatever." I looked away.

He scooted closer to me and pulled me into his chest. "Goodnight." He placed a lingering kiss on my forehead and I smiled. I pulled my body away and could sense the confused look on his face.

"I-I don't know how to explain it but I don't like my stomach or me really so I'm not comfortable being so close to someone as good looking as you." I wiped a tear off of my face.

"Valerie, how many times do we have to go over this?" He grabbed my hands and interlaced our fingers.

"No, just don't say that okay. It's not true."

"Goddamnit yes it is." He climbed out of the bed and grabbed his phone. I stood up and went into the bathroom. Closing the door and sliding back against it, I covered my face with my palms and tried to stop the tears from falling. I crawled over to the toilet and whether it was a bad decision or not. I did what I felt I had to do to feel better about myself.

Someone knocked on the door as I wiped my mouth with a bundle of toilet paper.

"What?" I choked out behind my tears.

"Kitten?" Oh my god. I shot up like a spring and opened the door. Carson pulled me into a hug and I laid my head on his shoulder. "Are you okay? What were you doing?" He questioned as he tucked my hair behind my ear.

I looked away and wiped a tear.

"Val..." He turned my face back towards him. "Oh my god no." A look of pure terror and disbelief overwhelmed his features. "Please don't tell me you didn't eat and then puke out what you did eat."

"I'm sorry." I said barely above a whisper.

"How could you do that to yourself? I love you. For you. You are really not fat. Trust me. You weigh 119 pounds and your are 19 almost 20. You are 5'10 Val. So technically you are skinny. Nice night gown by the way."

" I am so fucking sick of everyone saying I'm perfect. I'm not! Stop saying I am!! I just want to be happy with myself. I don't want to be scared that when you see me naked or with my shirt off you will leave because you won't like what you see. Or you won't want anything to do with my body at all."

"Is that what you think of me? That I would leave you because of your body?" He seemed hurt.

"You have amazing features. Amazing everything. Of course I'm scared."

"Don't be. Don't ever be scared of me leaving you." He wiped the streaming tears from my face. "And don't ever. Ever do that again." He gestured to the toilet. I nodded in embarrassment. He picked me up in his arms and carried me back to my bed. Laying me down before pulling the sheets over my body.

"Stay please." I begged.

"I can't love." He kissed my cheek before he walked out of the room and I was left alone. I took the opportunity to finish what I had started in the bathroom and I got back up as quietly as possible. I tiptoed to the bathroom and pushed the door open before a pair of arms pulled me back.

"Oh no you don't." Carson carried me out over his shoulder.

"Carson please put me down."

"No! I don't want you to kill yourself trying to become unhealthily skinny."

"But what if I want you to let me." He pulled me off of his shoulder.

"Don't ever say that again."

"Why are you even here. Did you talk to James? If Luke is yours." My voice broke.

"I talked to her okay, clam down kitty."

"Well then. Is he yours or not?" I asked hesitantly.

If you read please vote. If you don't. Don't read. Tell me what you think! Did you enjoy this chapter? Are you enjoying the story?

Carson is back!!! HALLELUJAH. I freaking missed him so much. I hope you guys liked this chapter. It's a little boring in my opinion, sorry if you didn't enjoy it. I am really glad Harper called Carson though.

All the love,

Sparkling Beverage🍹