The Lawson Boys

4.8

Valerie's P.O.V. LISTEN TO THE SONG!!

How could people say sometimes people are meant to die? How could people say that not everyone is meant to live to the age of 98, or that not everyone is supposed to be on this Earth? How could you say something like that? That people die for a reason, because I'm still waiting for that reason. If I died right now, the only good thing that would come out of this whole thing, would be that I never had to worry about Carson dying first. Or me being alone, but in a way, I will be alone. Forever. I won't ever get to see my kids which don't exist yet, graduate high school, I won't get to see them have their first swimming lesson, or see them on their first day of pre-school. But the worst part is that, they wouldn't ever have a memory of me. My parents aren't supposed to see their only daughter die, parents aren't supposed to bury their kids. No matter how fucked up death is, kids are never supposed to go first. But I won't ever get to grow old with Carson, I won't ever see him cooking food for our kids, or have him help me pick out a dog. We won't ever get to go ice-skating. There is so much I haven't done yet, and so much that I still want to do. Like be there when my kids get married. I want to have the little troubles of life, like taxes and having a period even though it's terrible. Because even though life has lots of problems, there is also a lot of solutions to those many problems. And I want to find those solutions.

Life is a blessing that I took for granted and look at me now.

I wonder how I look right now, pale face, blue lips, icy fingertips, stale limbs, not even the warmest bath could fix my temperature in this moment.

I felt an electric jolt enclose my whole body, leaving me with goosebumps and chattery teeth. But I felt like I was awake, I just couldn't tell for sure. I could wiggle my toes, and my fingers, but it hurt when I did. It felt like small sewing pins that had been frozen were getting shoved through my nail beds and the cold tissue of my numb fingers.

My body started to rise, and fall. For a second I thought they were shocking me again, but then I realized I couldn't feel any electricity.

I was breathing.

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I know it's VERY SHORT! Like the shortest chapter out of the whole book, but I haven't updated in almost a month, it will be a month tomorrow if I don't update today, and besides I like how this chapter ends. For a while I felt like my writing was terrible because I have literally had so much homework that I can not update, If I want to pass my classes, which I do. I hope this extremely short chapter will tide you guys over for a little while. I will try to update ASAP but I don't know how soon that will be.

All the love,

Sparkling Beverage🍹