The Lawson Boys

4.7

Valerie's P.O.V.
Imagine this song playing in the background while all of this is happening.

When I was 4 no one ever told me I would try to commit suicide. No one ever told me that at the age of 19 I could die. No one ever told me I would look in the mirror and want to die. No one ever told me I would feel unwanted and ugly. No one ever told me, that I would want to be dead. But I wish they had.

I laid still in the bath tub for a few more seconds before someone pulled me out and into their arms. Pressing their fingers to my neck to check for a pulse, but I don't think they found one because I felt my heart stop beating a while ago. They muttered 'shit' before someone else burst into the bathroom and their feet crunched the door underneath them.

"Did you call 911?"

"Yeah, they said they would be here soon but I don't feel a pulse."

"Start CPR?"

"Yeah okay."

Lips pressed against mine and they pushed a mouthful of air into my own. My throat declined it and I pushed it back out. But they kept repeating the same process. I heard sirens stop in front of my house and the downstairs door broke open and smashed against the wall behind it.

"WHERE IS SHE?!" A male voice broke the silence. Carson I assumed.

"UP HERE!" The person holding me called back to him.

He ran up the stairs and entered the room seconds later. His breathing heavy and distressed. He scooped me into his own arms and his warm skin contrasted against my own cold skin.

"Listen to me Valerie, you can't give up on me now okay? I can't lose you, this isn't going to be my birthday present. You have to breathe, you understand me?"

He started CPR. Don't they know it won't work.

My limp body was placed on a firm surface and it rocked back and forth as they carried me down the stairs. I wanted to move my fingers to feel how cold I was, but they wouldn't even twitch.

I was slid into a loud vehicle, an ambulance I bet.

The doors closed behind me but not before someone slid in and sat next to me, holding onto my hand with their own. Someone slid a mask over my face and cold air pushed into my mouth and I continued to decline it, making the mask fog up.

"What happened?" An unfamiliar person asked.

"I don't know, she was fine this morning." Carson answered.

"Then why would she try to commit suicide?"

His hand squeezed mine before he answered. "She thinks she's ugly."

"Has she tried to stop eating?"

"Yes." He replied hesitantly.

"And why didn't you bother to call anyone then?"

"I told her parents and she got mad at me."

"Which is exactly why you should've called."

"Well I didn't and all that matters is that you fix her! She needs to breathe again okay?" Carson yelled and his voice broke.

"We will try our best sir."

"No! You WILL save her life. And you will do it now."

"I'm going to need you to calm down."

"I can't calm down! How would you feel if your fiancé tried to commit suicide and she tried to starve herself? So don't tell me to calm down. Just please. Fix this." I could hear the worry in his voice.

"I'm doing the best I can right now, once we get her to the hospital which should be in about 5 minutes we can do more for her. But for now, this is the best I can do."

"I'm sorry, I just-"

"I get it, my sister commit suicide last year and she didn't make it."

"That sucks, I'm sorry for your uh loss? I'm not great with this kinda stuff." He laughed awkwardly, the kind where it almost gets stuck in your throat but it partly makes its way into the air.

"It's okay, neither am I. But we're here." The paramedic spoke up before he opened the doors and I heard his feet hit the ground. My body started moving and for a second I thought I was floating when I realized they were holding me up in the air to lower me down. The gurney hit the ground and I would've groaned if I could move, or talk for that matter. But I can't do either of those things right now.

The wheels started squeaking which indicated that we were moving and I could feel small drops of water settling on my skin; either rain or a dog is slobbering on me.

I wonder if this is the same hospital that Jesse and James are at?

We hit a bump and voices started shouting, but once again I couldn't tell them to shut up. Someone pushed me at an incredibly annoying fast speed before turning me and I rolled over onto my face, if they want me to breathe this is not the way to do it. But instead of stopping, I kept rolling. Right off of the gurney, someone caught me and my head fell back. My lips definitely blue but they were parted slightly.

"BE CAREFUL WITH HER! WE DON'T NEED HER TO DIE FROM FALLING ON THE FLOOR!" Carson's voice yelled at whoever had almost killed what was left of me.

"Okay okay jeez." A snobby girl replied. I would totally strangle her if I had the chance.

Carson laid me back on the bed so gently, like he thought I might shatter if I bumped something. Which I guess I might, but hopefully it wouldn't be that extreme.

He pressed his lips to my forehead and lingered for a second before I started moving again. If I want to live for any reason, that boy would be it.

"Sir you can't come in here with her, we will let you know when she's stable if she even survives this. If she doesn't it's her fault because she tried to commit suicide anyway, idiot." She muttered the last part under her breathe.

I could picture Carson's face in my mind when she said that, slightly red and his jaw clenched. His fists both balled up so tight that his knuckles were turning white, but he never said anything. I kind of wish he had though, because he didn't even defend me.

If you read please vote. If you don't. Don't read. Tell me what you think! Did you enjoy this chapter? Are you enjoying the story?

Hello! I am thinking I will update once a week if I can and if I have extra time hopefully more. But with all the home work I get and with how busy I am, I just don't think it would be possible to update 2-3 times a week. I tried not to leave you guys on as bad of a cliffhanger this time but still enough room to wonder what's going to happen. I hope you guys liked this chapter, it is a little shorter but it took me a week to come up with just this. Anyway, until I write again!

All the love,

Sparkling Beverage🍹