So it Goes (James Patrick March [AHS] x Reader)

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He slowly lifted his glass of whiskey upwards towards the sky, the corner of his lips twisting upwards slightly in a very faint smile, "Here's to you, my dear," he said quietly, his lips immediately forming back into a frown at the mention of you, "I do hope that wherever you may be, you are happy there," he added, bitterly but sincerely. A sigh escaped his lips before he brought the glass to his lips & took a long, hard sip.

This was what he did every night for the past seven years: drink himself into oblivion as he thought about you. That's where all his energy & few amount of good-heart went: drowning in his heartbreak.

Seven years ago, you had walked in on James killing an innocent woman in the home you shared & you left him. Right then & there. You didn't try to reason with him, although he did, pleading & begging with you as you packed your bags. You didn't listen to anything he was saying, you just packed & got ready, & once you were done, you walked to the door, turned to James, & said the two words that would forever haunt him, even in his death.

Goodbye, James.

The two words he never thought he would have to hear. He was going to propose to you & finally make you his wife, the one thing he truly wanted, & he blew it.

He smiled faintly as his gold ring clinked against his glass. His other hand faintly ran its fingertips across the precious stones of the ring in his pocket. Even though he never got to ask, he still kept the ring he had bought for you with him in his pocket, & he wore the band he got himself around his own finger. Sometimes, he would get so drunk that he really thought he was married to you & that you still roamed the halls of the Hotel, your smile & laugh lighting up all the darkness he had brought to the place. Most of the time, he just got drunk so he didn't have to face the reality that you were gone & he would never get to see you become his wife.

He frowned bitterly, finishing his glass before he went to pour himself another.

He had stopped killing entirely after you left. It wasn't long after your departure that the police had caught onto James' trail & he was forced to take matters into his own hands. He, himself, was the last person he killed.

After that, he didn't have the need nor desire to kill, not when the only thing he truly cared & loved was gone.

"I stopped my passions, my truly beloved art," he called out to the empty room, "For you. Yet, you left me, regardless," his eyes stung with the tears that were preparing to cascade down his cheeks, "Why did you do this? Why won't you return to me?" he cried, picking up his glass & gently swishing the ice aroud, "Why won't you return?!" the glass in his hand sailed to the wall, the two colliding with a painfully loud crash. Glass & ice flew across the room, the sound & mess making him flinch. It had been quiet in his beloved Cortez for too long.

He had never loved anyone nor anything as much as he loved you, even after you left. His love for you became stronger, even after his own demise. He had tried to somehow stop loving you, to make the heartbreak go away, but his love for you was far too strong to destroy. He couldn't kill his love like one of his victims & couldn't drink away his sorrows, but he damn well tried.

Even without you there, he was still wrapped around your finger. He was so hopelessly in love with you that he did anything & everything to please you. Seeing that smile grace your lips because of him made his heart flutter & press against his chest. You did things to him that no kill could & he knew he could never replace that nor forget it.

He finally broke down, sobbing as he sat down on the edge of the bed the two of you once shared, burying his face in his hands as he cried. Liz & Miss Evers knew about his nightly behaviors & rituals, the incessant drinking & crying over losing you, & it broke their hearts, too. Nothing sounded as painful as a broken man's sorrowful cries. It was even more painful to listen to than the screams from his victims.

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