You Cut

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***TRIGGER WARNING! ***

PLEASE DON’T CUT YOURSELF…IT’S THE WORST THING I’VE EVER STARTED TO DO…PLEASE TALK TO SOMEONE OR MESSAGE ME AND I’LL LISTEN AND DO MY BEST TO UNDERSTAND!

HARRY:

"babe?" his soft yet heavy voice rings through your shared flat. shit. he can’t see you like this. you’re tear stained face and blood covered arm the razor lying inocently on the floor. there’s a knock on the bathroom door. "i’ll be out in a second!" you call through to him. "are you crying? i’m coming in!" he says. "no! no…i’m fine." it’s to late the door is open and he’s standing in front of you. "(y/n)" he says under his breath looking down at your broken figure sitting with you back against the bathtub. "i’m sorry you tell him." he shakes his head. "why? i know you’re hurting but there’s other ways to make yourself feel better. why is this razor slicing your skin so tempting for you? why do you keep coming back to this?" he asks softly crouching down and wipping the tears off your cheeks. he looks over at the razor then at you. he slowly pick the razor off of the tiled floor walking over to the sink. he rinses it off and says "i want to understand." then he does something you never would’ve excepted him to do. he cuts himself. a long slice along his arm with the cool metal. "harry!" you start to cry. there’s tears in his eyes. he’s not a coward and he’s not weak, it’s painful and he can’t hold it in, combined with the idea this is what you do to yourself behind closed doors he can’t bare it. the blood pool on his cut as he sits down next to you. "why do you do this to yourself?" he asks one more time. you can’t speak you just sob and throw your arms around his neck sobbing into his shoulder. as silent tears roll down his cheeks as well. "i’m sorry." you tell him. "don’t be." he tells you holding you closer. that was the last time you cut.

ZAYN:

it’s been so long that you’ve been doing this. it’s a nightly routin almost. come home go into the washroom, cut wash up and hide everything before zayn gets home. tonight like anyother you glance over at the clock and realise that it’s time to stop sobbing and make the craved cuts in your arm and you start to clean up. the bathroom door swings open you’re cleaning your arm under the cool water from the tap. “zayn you’re home early!” you panic. ” yeah. love why?” he asks hugging you and pulling you close to him. honestly you don’t know anymore. you used to do it to rid yourself of the pain that ate you from the inside and now you just do it out of habit. it’s like smoking or doing heroine. you need to do it or you feel lost and incomplete. “i don’t know anymore.” you tell him breaking down. “i’m sorry.” you tell him over and over again. “love lok at me.” he tells you. “look at me.” he says lifting your chin forcing you to make eye contact with him. “i love you. and i don’t want to see you hurtting like this…i’m going to help you and you’re going to stop this. if you do i have a surprise for you.” he bribes. you nod. you’ve been waiting for help…you just didn’t want to ask. after six months of being self harm free zayn comes home revealing a new tattoo. in big letters across his back stretching from on shoulder to the other is a tattoo that reads ‘strength’ you love it and it’s his new favorite tattoo. you’re still self harm free.

LOUIS:

louis knew that you had a past of self harm. just resently you’d begun to cut again. you don’t know why even. but one night you started again. louis was on tour so you knew you wouldn’t get caught. but now he’s home and you’re constantly on edge trying to keep this you little secret. but while you stand in the kitchen making dinner in your short sleve top dancing around to every song on the radio louis comes in wrapping his arms around your waist. “hey babe.” he smiles pressing a kiss to you cheek. “babe?” “yeah lou?” “are those new?” he asks looking at your arm. you look at your arm ashamed and nod. “i’m sorry.” you tell him. “babe, get me your razor please.” he says. you nod you walk slowly down the hall and up the stairs to the washroom digging through the make-up drawr that your razor calls home. you hand it to him it’s better if he takes it away from you. you need this help. “how many cuts did you make today?’ he asks calmly as you still stand in the washroom. “six.” you say looking down at your arm. and with that louis makes six cuts in his own arm. “louis!” you shout at him. “every time you cut again i will cut the same amount of times.” he says you can’t stop the tears from falling down your cheeks. “i love you.” you whisper hugging him. he hugs you back kissing your forehead. “i love you too.” you haven’t cut since.

NIALL: the tears fall onto your arm the salty-ness stinging the fresh cuts. you sob as you make another cut. “princess.” nialls voice says from the door. he looks at you. he looks broken. you never wanted him to see you like this. so vunerable. “princess….why?” he ask softly wetting a cloth and walking over to you. he sits down pulling you into his lap his carefully presses the cloth to you arm wipping the blood away. you burry your face in his neck the tears falling silently,. “i love you.” he whispers. “i love you too.” you manage to croak out. he presses kisses all over your face. “i don’t want you to ever feel like you need to do this ever again.” he tells you ” if you feel like you need to then you’re going to take my arm and you’re going to look me in the eyes and cut my arm just as many times as you would cut yourself.” he continues. you shake your head “i can’t do that to you.” you tell him and then you realise that you’re doing that to him even when you cut your own skin…he’s still feeling the pain…

LIAM:

1…2…3 and cut. you take in a sharp breath as you make another cut. more blood pooling. you wipe it away with the white wash cloth. you cut again feeling more of the pressure that’s built up inside you being released. you were doing so well. you were so close to being 3 months clean, but you broke down. and now here you are the same position you’ve been in many times before. you’ve relapsed…you sob at the thought. and then you make another cut. you drop the razor and sob into your hands you sob for who knows how long the blood dripping down your arms you don’t care though. the bathroom door opens slowly. “oh sweetheart.” liam says quietly pulling you into his embrace as he joins you on the floor. “i love you.” he whispers. you nod. “baby you were so close…what happened?” he asks softly. “i’m sorry.” you sob. “it’s just so hard!” you tell him. “i know…i know.” he says. “no you don’t!” you tell him sobbing more. he picks up the razor from the floor. he holds it up to his arm. he’s about to cut his arm when you stop him. “i don’t want you to think you’re alone…you’re not. i’m going to help you.” he says still holding the razor. “just put it down…one bleeding arm is enough.” you tell him sobbing. he hugs you tight “i love you.” you tell him. “i love you to beautiful.” he says as silent tears fall down your cheeks.

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