LIX - Wheels Turning

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"Albuquerque make some noise!!!"

"What's up Denver Colorado?!!!!"

"Salt Lake City let me hear you scream!!!"

"Seattle I'm in love with you and your Coffeeeeee!!!"

"Not even the rain can stop us are you with me Portland?!!!"

"Golden State San Francisco, not my favorite metal but you guys here are my favorite gems. NOW- Go craaaaazzzyyyyy!"

We've just wrapped up the last West USA show, Ryder and everyone decided on skipping a big party guessing from how the last one went horribly wrong. Today we're having an intimate dinner with just us crew to celebrate and sort of to say good bye to us.

I'm feeling all kinds of gloomy knowing that tomorrow we won't be performing in amazing stadiums in front of thousands of people, tomorrow I'll wake up without having to rush to the next city and tomorrow, I won't be seeing Ryder.

I look up to him as he's laughing and telling his jokes, that not even his fans find funny. I'm looking at his hair, his jaws, his perfectly pointed nose, his sweet and heavenly soft lips and the most knee buckling eyes you'll ever see.

Like suddenly aware of my gaze, he looks at me with a slight frown and then pulls me closer him with his arm around my shoulder.

"You two have been glued together the minute the show ended" the tour manager teases.

Ryder smirks and I giggle.

"It's a sight to see Ryder clinging to Silver like a panda does to its bamboo shoot eh?" One of his backup band members chimes in.

The whole table laughs but Ryder merely widens his smile and shakes his head, still doesn't let go of me.

"Leave them alone, the tour's other half will be across the continent" Scoot cuts in.

Hearing it out loud kind of made my insides tie into knots, after New York and Canada they'll all fly to wrap the tour with its Europe leg. Ryder squeezes my arm and rubs his palm reassuringly as he caught my reaction.

I look up to him and smile then he kisses the top of my head.

"We'll be fine" he whispers and I cuddle up my head to his shoulder in response.

After the dinner and a little wine, Ryder and I are headed to the private charter for my flight back to Arizona.

We're stood at the foot of a rented private jet with our hands clung tightly with each other, the pilot emerges and nods towards Ryder silently saying everything is all set.

Ryder pulls me in and hugs me tightly, I return his hug and clasped unto him like my life depended on it.

My heart is beating loud, my emotions overflowing. I don't want to be apart from this man, I want to always be close to him, smell him and hold him.

I love him.

My eyes began to water and quickly my shoulders rock back and forth, the tears streaming freely out my eyes making me sob loudly.

"Shhh love" He whispers, his voice breaking.

"I'm sorry... I just- I can't" I blurt out in between sobs, his coat getting wet from my tears. He caresses my hair and kissed my forehead.

"I know, don't cry. We'll see each other before you even get the chance to miss me, I'll come to you, always" He says.

I look up to him, my vision blurred but I see his eyes blood shot red and glossy.

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