The sharpest lives (Gerard Way Fanfiction)

The sharpest lives chapter 36**

WARNING

IF YOU DO NOT LIKE ANYTHING SAD OF BAD HAPPENING... (i don't want to give the story away) PLEASE LEAVE NOW OKAY? BUT IT MAY BE TRIGGERING FOR SOME READERS. OTHERWISE I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT. 

BTW THIS IS NOT THE END OF THE BOOK JUST YET, THERE'S STILL ANOTHER CHAPTER OR TWO ;) LISTEN TO THE VIDEO IN THE SIDE BAR AT THE POINT WHERE I PUT A STAR MKAY **

Grace<3

*RAINS POV*

The bell ends for the end of the day. I hear kids rush out of the class room, and Gerard walk towards the cupboard door to release me. Unfortunately he is cut short, by a student walking back into the class. 

"Samantha. What a surprise. What are you doing here?" Gerard questions, with a hint of worry in his voice.

"Today. It's Thursday. You know what Thursday is right?" She whispers. 

I can just imagine what she's doing to him right now. Poor Gee. I have to save him from this slut.

"Samantha, I can't...-not today." 

Not today? What the fuck is that supposed to mean? What is he doing with her on a Thursday?

"But Sir. You wrote on my exam that I got a E. I at least need a D to get my target am I right?...And I can see my target growing"

I hear her try and undo his buckle of his jeans. I hear a loud clash on the table. Papers. I hear books flying on the floor. 

I hear him kiss her. 

*** I feel my cheeks become wet, once too many times. I can't do this. I give him chances, he proves them to me. Showing me that he lo-.

He's never told me that he loves me. He only says he cares for me. 

I stand up. I push over the stand in the cupboard. I push all the paints on the floor. All papers go flying, books and reports all over the floor. Then there is me. A ruined little girl sitting in the middle of a big mess. That's what my life is like. A big mess. 

Maybe I don't want to be in this big mess anymore. Maybe I don't want to live this life.

Gerard and Samantha still haven't heard me. I scream, I cry. I make a mess and no one hears me. Does he not remember me? That I am in this dark cupboard all alone? Maybe he won't remember me when I'm gone? 

My head falls to my hands. 

Why? What have I done to deserve this? 

I keep thinking of lyrics. Lyrics that describe my life. I rock back and forth mumbling them.

Help.

I have done it again.I have been here many times before.

Hurt myself again today, and the worst thing is that there is no one else to blame.

Lost myself again, and I feel unsafe. Lost myself, I am no where to be found.

And the worst thing is that there is no one else to blame.

This is it. 

I don't want to waste anymore time here. 

I crawl to the stool that is in the corner and drag it to the middle of the cupboard. I look up and see the light bulb hanging from the ceiling. My school tie. I tie a knot it the bulb and create a moving loop. I stand on the stool.

"And the worst thing is that there is no one else to blame."

I place my head through the loop of my school tie.

"And the worst thing is that there is no one else to blame."

I kick the stall from beneath my feet and let myself struggle.

"And the worst thing is that there is no one else-"