The sharpest lives (Gerard Way Fanfiction)

The sharpest lives chapter 58**

*RAINS POV*

I am walking through the forest at around 9:00pm. It is dark but the moon shines bright. The forest is on the border of the sea as I can feel the droplets spraying onto my skin. The leaves on the trees are swaying as the owls toot in the moonlight. I start to visualize my family. Gerard. Gerard with another girl. Samantha. I walk towards them but they move away. They're laughing. Gerard looks so happy. Happier than he does with me anyway. His smile is beautiful. I move towards them once again, but this time I run. They start laughing, looking straight through me. A scream escapes my lips. A tear falls onto my cheek. Gerard lowers Samantha onto the cold ground. They kiss, and kiss. He touches her like she's an angel. He strokes her hair out of her face, as he softly kisses her once again. All I can do is stand there. Stand there and watch them. I scream over and over again, synchronizing with the moans and screams of pleasure coming from both Samantha and Gerard. 

I ran over to them once again and this time they didn't run. They were too busy making love. I started to see familiar faces all around me. My mum. My dad. Gerard. Ray, Frank. Mikey. All of them. But there were no expression on any of their faces. All blank. I started to call out each of their names but none of them would respond. I would scream their names. Over and over again. I started to panic. I felt even more water droplets fall onto my skin, from the sea. I turned round to see Gerard standing there. With Samantha. Gerard was chanting.

"I never loved you, I never will Rain. You're worthless."

Over and over again. Maybe I was worthless. 

I was no one. 

No one loved me. No one. 

I was better off dead.

They should have never revived me that day. I should be .

I should be dead.

And with that a big wave came over the trees. The wave and panic pulled me under. I was spinning around the waters. For that moment nothing mattered. The water pulled me under but it was beautiful. The water glistened as I drowned. I didn't care. Everything flowed out of me. I was done.

I was done. I closed my eyes and let myself slip out of my body.