Wishes |c.d.|

53.

Cameron's pov

"Dude you can't do that! You can't tell her!" I yelled at Matthew who was standing right in front of me, slamming my locker shut. "Man you're leaving in three days! She has to know! You're going to crash her and I can't let that happen. It's either you tell her or I do" he reasoned. "Matt do you not understand?! She can't know about it! I don't want to see how hurt she will be when she finds out that I didn't tell her sooner. I can't do that to her." I shook my head.

"Cameron, she is your girlfriend! So what are you going to do exactly? Hurt her and break her heart and let us all handle it and try to put her back into pieces while you are away in New York living your new life? You can't do that Cameron! You were the only one who could fix her broken heart, you cant be the one to break it now, you can't do this to her. She doesn't deserve it" he said, his piercing with anger eyes burning holes thought my scull.

"I can't tell her Matt! I know it will hurt her, but trust me, it will be easier for her this way. She will hate me, which will make it easier for her to let go and forget me. We both know long distance wouldn't work between me and Emily, our relationship has been tested enough already. And I'd rather she hate me for the rest of my life than watch her break right in front of me and know I've caused her so much pain. I can't face her Matt. I'm scared" I explained, running my hands through my hair in frustration. "Wait, how long ago did you actually make the decision to move to New York?" He squinted his eyes at me, looking for answers. I sighed.

"When I went to New York a couple of months ago, it wasn't just to visit my dad. It was also to transfer to a school there and get everything done so we could move there as soon as possible" I bit my bottom lip. "Then why did you lead Emily on and on? Why couldn't you just end it there with her? Why did you have to put her through so much shit Cameron?!" Matthew had started yelling by now, causing a few other students to look at us.

"I couldn't do it. I didn't want to let her go just yet! You think it was easy for me? Still is? Well it's not Matt" I punched the locker next to me, to release some anger that had been building up inside me. He looked at me and shook his head in disappointment. He opened his mouth to say something, but couldn't bring himself to do so. So he just walked off.

I headed towards the library, in hopes to finally sit down somewhere peacefully and clear my head. I pushed the double doors open, stepping inside the dead silent room. I started walking towards one of the tables that where in the middle of the room for the students to study and work on their projects, but suddenly stopped in my tracks. As I raised my gaze, I spotted her sitting there, at the exact same spot. Right where I came to find her and confess my feelings for her. I gulped, suddenly feeling my throat dry and my mouth sticky. I felt my heart sink at the pit of my stomach, and I thought I heard it crack.

"I want you all to myself. I want everyone to know you're mine and only mine." I whispered in her neck. "I'm all yours, I promise".

"Cameron? What are you doing here? Are you okay?" Her melodic voice rand through my ears, breaking me out of my gaze, and causing a melancholic feeling surface inside my stomach. "I'm okay, I just came here to study" I tried to sound as convincing as possible, though she could see right through my lies. "Talk to me. What has been bothering you" she furrowed her eyebrows in concern. I quickly pulled back the chair next to her and sat down, taking her hands in mine.

"Emily, you know I love you, right?" I asked her, looking deep into her eyes, that showed confusion. "Yes Cameron, I do know it. And I love you too" she replied, searching my eyes for answers. I pressed my lips together. "Just know that no matter what, I'll still love you... And that I would never want to hurt you in any way. Just know that okay?" I asked her, bringing her hands up to my lips and placing a kiss on the back of them. "Okay?" She replied, puzzled.

I cupped her cheeks and leaned towards her, placing my lips on hers and bringing them into a soft, yet passionate kiss. It was all I could give her at the time, and it hurt me to think it was one of the last things we shared.
I stood up and left the library, leaving her dumbfounded.