Ice skate with your heart

Sixty seven

Lia's POV
Week later.
I gave birth to our son and we got to hold him and say good bye. We had the funeral and it was the hardest thing burying your son.

Me and Rocco have barley spoken words to each other just holding each other carfully until up to the last few days where he doesn't leave the spare room not even to eat.

I don't feel like I can eat either but I spent it cuddled up with Liam who was taking this hard too.

Every now and again I'd check on him and he's just lying on the bed.
But I left him to it.

It was hard. I can't even bring myself to think to have another child one day.

"I'm going to go out." Rocco says putting on his coat and shoes.
"Do you want me to come with you?" I ask quietly.
He shook his head.

"It's fine. Love you." He gives me a hug and a kiss before leaving. The most affection he's given me in the last three days.

Rocco's POV
I tried but a police man stopped me.
"Don't! It's ok. It's not worth it . Ok it's not worth it." He told me as I sobbed.

He pulled me from the bridge.
"How about we get you to the hospital and we call someone for you?" He asked but I was just too weak to say anything.

He helped me up and into the front of his car.
"How old are you son?"
"19." I replied.

"Why did you stop me?" I ask.
"Because it's not worth it. There are so many other things you can do then death." He tells me.

"My girlfriend had a miscarriage, my dad is a dangerous alcoholic, my mum ran away and I'm left guardian of my 3 year old sister, as I try to finish school and practice ice hockey for the leagues. I don't think there is." I tell him.

"Well that's two things you've got to live right their. Your sister who only has you and your vulnerable girlfriend. It sounds like you need to get your steam off chest but tried to do it the wrong way." I nod.

"Call someone. Tell them your going to hospital. You'll need someone by your side." I open my phone and I have so many people I could call but didn't want to call any of them.

"Rocco. Hey how you holding up?" Coach answers.
"Can you come to the hospital?" I ask shakily.
"Yeah of course. Are you and Lia ok?"

How I'm I going to tell him?
"Lia's ok but I'm not." I say.
"What happened?" He asked.
"I tried to end everything and I really need someone to be there." I cry.

"Yeah. I'll be right over." He hung up and I felt even worse before I left the house.
"It's not easy I know. But you'll get through it. Your a tough lad.

-----------------------------------------
They admitted me to a ward and I had to sit in a bed but I kept my knees to my chest and my head buried. I wonder how many people will think about how weak I am.

"Rocco. Hey, never do that." Coach came and hugged me.
"You have so much to live for. I'm here for you to talk at anytime. Don't end your life." I nod feeling so weak in his arms.

"I've called Lia. I told her to come." I sat up and looked at him.
"Why would you do that?! I don't want her to come. She's got enough on her plate then to see me in hospital." I tell him.

I don't want her to see me so down.
I hear her voice asking for me then she looks at me.

She ran over and hugged me.
"I've already lost one person this month don't make me lose another." She says hold me with her hand in my hair hold tight.

"I love you so fucking much. So much. You know that? I don't ever want to hear you tried to kill yourself.  You have me. It's not much but you have me." She tells me wiping my eyes and hers.

"We are together forever. I promised you that. Promise me the same." I nod kissing her neck lovingly.

"Together forever." I repeat hugging her.
"Why didn't you talk to us?" Coach asks as I hold Lia so tight.

"I'm meant to be the strong one and when we lost Eros that was it for me. I guess I didn't want to be seen as weak." I say looking down.

"Rocco you have to understand that you can cry. You can ask for help. You can freak out. Your allowed to feel whatever you need to feel. You don't have to result to things like that." Coach told me truthfully.

I guess I just have to get used to telling people how I feel.