Ice skate with your heart

Seventy six

Brook's POV
It was nice but it shouldn't of happened.
Then everyone was questioning me and I just wasn't ready.

This whole thing is a lot harder than you think.
"Brook, can I come in?" Rocco knocked. I didn't answer so he came in anyway.

"Brook I don't understand why your freaking out. It's fine." He tells me sitting on the bed next to me.
"You don't understand." I tell him.

"No I don't and to be honest I'm trying to make it better for you." He says getting irritated

"Well it's not Rocco! Your not making it better. Because it's a lot harder to just change your life to something you've known from the start and just started to accept!" I shout at him.

"You've known your whole life?!" He asks.
"That's what you got out of all of that. No Rocco I've just decided to be gay to make my life difficult. Of course I've known my whole life! That's how this works!" I scream.

He's really not making this any easier.
"Rocco your really not helping." I tell him.
"I don't know how to help. Lia just came out and it didn't bother her and it made my life fun too so I wouldn't know." Rocco confines.

"Of course. She's a girl. Everyone expects them to like each other. Your life got easier because you got to sleep with two girls with out it being called cheating." I tell him truthfully.

Who wouldn't want a bisexual girlfriend that let's you sleep with her girlfriend, that's like every straight guys dream come true.

"Double standard bro. Not cool. Your making it seem like it's easy for every person. Well it's not." Rocco says.
"That's what I've been trying to tell you! It's not and you telling me to stop freaking out isn't helping." I tell him again.

He's trying and I know that but he's really pushing me.
"Ok. So what do you need me to do for you to make this easier?" He asks.

Finally the smartest thing he's said all day.
"What I need is for you is to leave so I can figure it out for myself." I say to him just breathing out.

"Ok. But I or Lia will be up later to check on you." I nod and he leaves. 

Aaron is a fine person. He's nice and kind and he's looks really good but I just don't know how I feel about going on dates with a guy. Not that it's bad but I've never done it and it's not normal to me that's what freaked me out.

There was a small knock on the door and a struggle to open the door so I got up and open the door to Sami with two bags of marshmallows.

"Hi Brooky. I heard Rocky say that you were upset so I took some sweets so we could talk." She says walking in between my legs and throwing the bags on the bed and trying to get on on the bed.

"Hi Sami. Need help?" I ask and she shook her head and looked at the bed then pushing the seat towards the bed and climbing the seat to the bed.

"I got it. Now. I'm smart tell me what's wrong?" She says ripping a bag open. This child is so independent even though Rocco does almost everything for her.

"Nothing Sami. I'm ok." I smile at her.
"Lying. Your eyes are red. Means you've been crying and you don't look happy?" She analyses.

"Ok I'll tell you." Why I'm about to tell a 3 year old my problems like it's going to help.
"I don't know how I feel about my sexuality." I say simply.

"What is sexuality?" She asks messing the pronouncing of the word up.
"What gender you like." I explain.

"So you like guys and it making you upset?" I nod.
"Then don't like guys." She tells me and I chuckle as I take a marshmallow.

"That's not how it works Sami. I have to." I say. I don't know what I'm expecting from this chat.
"If you have to think if it as something fun. Like when I get in trouble at school. They make me sit on a chair for 3 minutes and I like to play with my hands and make silly faces. Then if you can't do that then you cry until someone picks you up." Advice from a 3 year old.

"But you have to understand why you were their before being able to play again." She adds.
Makes sense. In a way.

"So I have to understand why before getting to do the things I need?" I ask.
"Yeah! I'm going to get us drinks." She tells me jumping off the bed with her sticky hands and face.

The 3 year old gave me probably the best advice I've received, I have to understand myself before going forward with relationship and things like that.

"I wanted apple juice but Uncle Dec said no so I have water." She tells me handing me the bottle and sitting back on the bed.

"You happy now?" I nod at he question.
"Yay. Do you want to play with me now?" Sami asks with a little gleam in her eyes.

"What do you want to play?" I ask.
"Tea party." I nod and off the her room we went.
I think she is very smart and you wouldn't expect to receive a life lesson from someone who still wears nappies to bed.

That's why I freaked out. Because I wasn't ready to kiss Aaron. I need to apologise to Aaron and Rocco.

Anyway as promised I play tea party with Sami, drinking invisible tea and talking to stuffed animals.