Ice skate with your heart

78: Rocco's essay

2017-2018 Common Application

2. The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?

For me my whole life since I turned 18 has been a challenge. One day I was partying with my friends having a great time, next thing my mum runaway. Now this was already heartbreaking but then finding out that I had to be legal guardian of my 3 year old sister is what changed my life.

I had to grow up a lot faster then what I was. I learned that it's not easy trying to be a parent figure on your own. To not ask for help with something, someone so important to me. This is where my Fiancé and her family come into play.

She made sure I had all the help I could get and her family were more than willing to take her off my hands completely but I couldn't let them do that because I was already grateful that they were letting me live in their house, eat their food, date their daughter and still be asking for help.

It made me feel weak. That I couldn't take care of her without help. So I stopped asking and tried to juggle everything again. School work, financial work, ice hockey, getting a someone to look at my sister (she's a child prodigy), trying to find someone to teach her and that got the better of me. It was stressful and I think my fiancé realised that and took me away to relax and after a few months everything started to fit in place.

Fast forward even more and I found out the my Fiancé was pregnant. At first I was shocked, then afraid. All that was going through my mind was how am I going to take care a newborn if I can't take care of a toddler. But she made me feel that everything was going to be ok because we had decided to go through with the pregnancy.

We had conversations as adults and dealt with things like adults. So I took things to the next step and asked her to marry me. I am a true believer that a child should not be born out of wedlock but she was my rock and had helped me through a lot during that last year and I knew I couldn't live without her.

Two weeks later due to a trauma accident with her, we lost our first son. It really damaged us. We didn't speak to each other. We didn't really speak to anyone and that hurt us but more me.

2 weeks later I tried to commit suicide and luckily I was stopped and it made me a stronger person today. I now know it's not weak to ask for help. It's not weak to talk your feelings out with the person you love. It's not weak to not feel ok and grieve.

That's what I learned and what I'm still learning. My sister is smarter than ever because I asked people to help her, my relationship is stronger then ever because we asked each other for help and I'm stronger, healthier and happier because I asked for help.

It made me understand myself more and grow to be the best version of myself I can be.