another chance 🌹• jb-kj

seventeen: day 9

Justin

Day 9 without Shayra, day 9 of drinking in the morning on work day, day 9 of drowning in my own jealousy towards Kevin.

Fucking Kevin.

Fucking me!

Why can't I just be honest to her and tell her that its not just physical between us. That I'm trying to move on from something horrible and she is the only hope I see.

I see her and Kevin together everywhere. During lunch, they'll sit together in the canteen and when I don't see them there, I know they've gone out somewhere.

I do my best to go unnoticed. Shayra only comes to my cabin every morning for the task details and then directly in the evening to say goodbye.

And no matter how bad I want to stop and push her over the desk and do all things I'd do to her in here before this stupid Kevin got in between but I can't.

I know she isn't that type of girl and I respect her.

I also miss her.....I miss driving her to her place after work. I miss the dinner and breakfast she'd always cook for me.

I miss how she'd run her fingers through my hair whenever I couldn't sleep.

God, I told her to stay away from feeling and look at me now. I've gotten used to her. The comfort I felt whenever I'm with her.

"Can I come in?" My thoughts were interrupted by the chirp of my favorite voice.

I quickly hid the beer bottle under my table and cleared my throat.

"Yes you can!" I said and the door opened revealing the same breath-taking woman, I wanted to see.

"Goodmorning!" She smiled and for a moment, it felt like just one of my dreams but it wasn't, just that she didn't think of me the way I want her to.

She seemed to be in a bright mood and it radiated off her and made me smile too.

"Morning" I said.

"I got coffee for you, skimmed milk for the fitness freak" She said and placed the cup on my desk.

"But a little extra caramel, I want you try it, its my favorite" She said and sat across the table with her cup.

"So coffee with me today?" I said and chuckled in the end and shut my laptop screen and she shrugged.

"We don't seem to get our coffee breaks together so I thought why not now, I was anyways getting a coffee for me" She said and I nodded.

I took a sip of the caramel latte and it tasted sweeter due to the after taste of the beer in my mouth. 

"Is my task list ready?" Se asked.

"Oh yeah, I made it yesterday itself, I think I kept it one of these drawers" I said and started searching in the drawers on my left.

She stood up and searched in the drawers on my right.

"Oh is it this one?" She said and pointed at the paper that had he name on top of it.

"Yeah, that's the one" I said and she took it in her hand just to reveal the photo underneath it and I froze.

It was a photo of me and Lilly we took on a beach date.

Shayra looked at me with a slight smile and picked up the photo when I didn't stop her at all.

"Who's this?" She asked.

"Oh that....she's my ex" I tried to play it cool and she hummed.

"Seems special" She said.

"No, this drawer just has random stuff" I said and swallowed.