twenty: can't do this

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Shayra

"Hey, I thought we were going to work..." I said when Kevin took the opposite turn.

"We are, but not now, a little later. But don't worry, I called Mr. Bieber and told him we'll be coming late, he said it's fine" He said.

"Oh, okay" I was a little disappointed inside because me and Justin had scheduled a meeting together which was supposed to be only the both of us. These kind of meetings and random business parties are the only time I get to spend with him.

"Where are we going though?" I asked.

"Oh, just to the Pier, mornings are beautiful there" He said and I smiled and nodded.

After I got out of the car once he parked, he held my hand and intertwined our fingers and smiled at me and I smiled back.

He led me up to the Pier and we stood there, looking at the sea.

It suddenly feels so odd with him right now. As much as I wanted this in life, this doesn't feel right. Maybe this is because I've been getting close to Justin again when Kevin wasn't here. So when he turned to face me and kissed me, I deepened the kiss.

I tried so hard to think about Kevin but Justin kept coming back and I pulled out abruptly when I got frustrated with my own thoughts.

"Shy, I brought you here because I wanted to ask you something" He said.

"Oh, okay..." I mumbled.

What if he got to know about what happened on Justin's birthday...or at that party last week when I danced with Justin. I sh-

"I think we know each other enough to take this thing between us further now. I mean, its been quiet a while so I was wondering if we could make us official now?" He said and I just kept looking at him, sinking deeper into loss of words.

"Would you be my girlfriend Shayra?" He asked with a smile.

Would I? 

Can I?

Can I completely forget about Justin and be with Kevin. I should be building feelings for Kevin and not Justin but instead I keep thinking of Justin all the time.

I took a deep breath and licked my lips. I can't do this, it would never feel right.

"Kevin, I'm sorry, but I can't do this. Don't get me wrong, you are a great guy and I tried to think of you as something more but I can't. I don't wanna regret this Kevin, I don't want to lead you somewhere if I can't give my 100 percent to you. I'm so sorry" I said.

"Shayra is this about Mr. Bieber?" He asked and I sighed.

"Yes....I don't know about him but I'm more than just physically attracted to him" I said.

"But Shayra he's-

"I know he's fucked up! I know he isn't the best decision but I cant run away from this Kevin. I can't I'm sorry" I said and he looked down and sighed.

"Okay..." He said.

"We should probably go to work now" He said and I nodded and he drove us back to the office.

I almost ran out of the elevator when I reached the 15th floor but slowed down since a lot of people were there.

I felt like some heavy burden had been taken off my back as I entered Justin's cabin without knocking and shut the door and locked it silently too.

"Whoa, hey there, you seem to be in a hurry" He said as I walked to the desk and almost threw the stuff I was holding in my hands.

"Shayra are you alri- mmh" I cut him off as I walked to him and bent down to kiss him.

I placed my knees on either side of him and sat on his lap as I deepened the kiss. He cupped my face and tried to slow down the kiss but I didn't let that happened.

"Shayra..." He breathed as our foreheads stayed connected while we tried to catch our breaths.

"What's wrong?" He asked and I shook my head.

"Nothing's wrong, if fact everything is alright now" I said and he furrowed his eyebrows.

"I...I kinda dumped Kevin a few minutes ago" I said.

"What?!" 

"Yes, he asked me if I'm alright with making things official between us and I said no" I said.

"But Shayra, you wanted that right? All that commitment and feelings and emotio-

"Yes, yes I do but I don't think I can see Kevin in that place" I said and for a minute he kept staring at my face.

"And after that, immediately you come and make out with me..." He said with a stupid smirk on his face.

"Oh...so you don't want that? Fine, I won't then. I'm going to my cabin" I said and stood up and started to grab my stuff waiting for him to stop me.

"You know I didn't mean it that way" He said.

"But you are less cocky when we aren't throwing ourselves at each other, I guess I prefer not kissing you now" I said and he stood up and grabbed my arm and pulled me closer to him and wrapped his arms around me.

"So does this mean that we can get back to fucking each others' brains out on daily bases?" He said and I fiddled with his tie.

"Maybe..." I said and bit the inside of my cheeks to keep from blushing.

"Maybe huh? I think the answer is yes, a solid yes" He said before grabbing my chin and making me look up at him.

"Its been a while since we did it on the desk right?" He said.

"Yes but no, not right now, I'm already late and we have a meeting in an hour. I do not want to smell sweaty and look like a mess there" I said.

"Oh come on" He said and started leaning in but I placed my hands on his chest.

"Justin no, I'm going to my cabin now" I said and pecked his lips.

"What?! No! Shayra come back here!" He yelled as I grabbed my stuff and started rushing out.

"Shayra Chopra I will kill you if you step out of that door-

I shut the door behind me and Giselle looked at me.

"Wow, boss seems mad at somebody" She said and I almost laughed.

"Yeah, very very mad" I said and laughed my way to my cabin while she looked at me weird.

You have no idea Giselle.

-----------------

Beyonce still has me still shook to the core

If one day its revealed that Beyonce is some kind of goddess, I won't even be surprised.

Like, I'd drop everything and spend my life being a devotee and following her religion.

-Love, S

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