I'm Not Crazy Yet (editing)

Chapter 1: Lady Macbeth is Transgender

Edit (29/02/20)
How the actual hell did I miss editing this chapter? Thanks to whoever commented on this and brought to my attention my idiocy! Also I love you.
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Quick note!
Dont be a butt. I take criticism but yo being rude, then good bye.
Bye now.
Gawd you guys are just being mean aren't you?!
I said stop! leave me be! I have children!
...Okay I don't... but I do have a pet dog. Does that count?
Anyhows onward with the story!!!!
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I no longer have brain cells.

I don't understand why I have to take English, I mean I can already speak it why on earth do I need to know the whole of Macbeth back to front and know every word King Duncan said? It's stupid.
Now I know Shakespeare is some kind of amazing god kinda person but he's dead...or in the underground networks of the world where all the immortal beings live. Either way he ain't here so I see no point in learning his writings. Its dumb.
Now you're either wondering
A) What the heck is this potato sack talking about?
Or
3: Why?
Well it's really due to the fact that I hate this lesson. And the teacher. Actially mostly the teacher, this gal  needed a good slap... In the face. With a knife... Or bucket. You know for good measure :)
I sat next to a girl I can't remember the name of, she had her dirty blonde hair in perfect curls hanging down the back of her dark blue collared shirt. She was really staring at the board the light from the projector reflecting off her eyes as they flit between the board and her notepad. Urgh her eyes sparkle like gems! Stupid pretty people!
As I study her looking for flaws I begin thinking I could always skin her and take over her life? ...That's a thing you can do, right? Hmm I don't know Cydney is it? It cool Cydney I'll Google it later when I get home, Google knows all!

I was thinking of ways of capturing pretty eyes over here to peel her skin off when when Mrs Stupidpants teacher asks me a question! The absolute nerve of the woman! Doesnt she know I'm too amazing to take time out of my busy schedual to listen to her?!
I mean do I look like I'm paying attention? No, of course not. So why ask a girl that
1) doesn't know the answer
and
2) doesn't care what the answer is???
This lady needs to go back to school or something because she clearly doesn't know anything. Or she simply was not told of my amazing existence and shes just too ignorant to know that Im a god and I can crush her like an oreo.
Her annoying bubbly voice spoke again "Cydney? I asked a question." Well duh! God, does this lady think I'm dumb or something? Humph, I'm quite intelligent thank you very much!

Syd : She didn't even call you stupid, stupid.
Cyd: Wait?! Who said that?!
Syd: Me!
Cyd: Me, who? *Gasps* are you a ghost? Oh god I have a ghost inside me! Im too young to be possessed! Wait! I wonder if I can go get exorcized?! Pfft! Nah me and exercise don't work. I mean imagine me doing exercise! *gasps and laughs like a seal* God Cyd, you're so funny I bet y-
Syd: Shut up! God Cyd, just be quiet!
Cyd: Who are you? Are you a ghost?
Syd: No I'm not a freaking ghost! God Cydney stop messing about-
Cyd: *gasps* Ooooooh I know! You're my new pet hamster I ordered from China the other year!!! I mean I thought it was strange that he got lost in the mail I mean how on earth could you lo-
Syd: Cyd shut up! No, I'm not a ghost. No, I'm not your pet hamster from China. Exorcisms and exercise are two different things. Now answer the teacher before I pull your teeth out with a superglue.
Cyd: *whining* But do I have to?
Syd: Yes.
Cyd: Okay I will. But not because you told me, but because I don't like that lady and talking to her will cause her pain.
Syd: I can wholeheartedly agree. Talking to you feels like I'm losing brain cells every second.
Cyd: That's rude! Why are you so mean to me?! All I do is be nice to you, I'm like the nicest person ever! I learnt how to be a nice person in that class you know the one ...umm I think it was in maths... or was it PE? I don't know, I mean I know there was a class I learned it in. Oh well I guess I'll never know now. I could always Google it when I ask the all knowing where my pet hamster is I mean I was going to call him Ralph because Ralph is a good name to call a hamster. *gasps* Wait! I can't call it Ralph, Ralph's the name of my pet duck. *strokes beard* Hmm, I should find more names for this hamster so when he finally arrives he isn't nameless that would be terrible I mean why would you want to be a nameless hamster that's jus-
Syd: Shut up! Please for once in your life shut up! Answer the teacher. Now.
Cyd: Okay bye.

I look at the Mrs Stupidpants to see the class staring at me I wonder what theyre looking at? But being the professional I am I kept eye contact with the teacher I mean its not like theres a mouse doing a cartwheel behind me "What was the question again?" Oh gosh this is harder than it looks I just need a peek at the m- NO! Cydeny answer the question that you didnt here because Syd was talking.

Syd: You didn't hear it in the first-place dummy.
Cyd: That's just mean and probably true.
Syd: Truth hurts. Now go and answer the question.
Cyd: Okay bye-bye.

The teacher sighs a deep sigh like so deep that I was almost convinced she took all the air out the room in one go as she rest her one hand on her hip and the other on her slight baby bump. Hmm maybe because shes pregnant she has two pairs of lungs so must be able to breathe twice as much air as a regular none pregnant lady. Right?
"Why does Lady Macbeth have male-like tendencies." Pretty sure shes making this up, oh well I guess I can pity her and answer Im sure she has nothing else to live for other than to hear me talk!
"Umm, I don't know." That should be enough.
Mrs Stupid pants sighs again rubbing the bridge of her nose "Just guess Cydney, please." Wow, she's begging me to learn. Ewwww, that means using my brain. Okay well, I sorta kinda didn't promise Syd I would try so here it goes.

Okay here it goes, brain do the thing! "Um, maybe because she's transgender?" my voice goes up higher towards the end due to being so confused while I have my arms up by my shoulders like a T-rex shrugging. God, I wish I was t-rex!

Syd: No, you wouldn't. You wouldn't be able to scratch your nose.
Cyd: Dinosaurs have noses?!
Syd: Of course, they do! And anyway, if that doesn't stop you from wanting to be a dinosaur you should think about how they can't sleep in bunk beds.

"OMG TREX'S CAN'T SLEEP IN BUNK BEDS!!!" I start to cry as the class laugh around me. Why are they doing that?

Syd: Because you said that last bit out loud stupid.
Cyd: Oh. Well, it's not a laughing matter.

"Cydney this class is not a joke or some place to sit day dreaming. Go to the headteacher's office now." I think she was trying to be stern but all I could think of was mike's girlfriend from monsters Inc. Man I loved her hair I wish I had hair like hers, I mean snakes for hair would be awesome.

Syd: Get up!
Cyd: But why?
Syd: Cuz you need to go see the head teacher.
Cyd: Ooh I like her she always asks how my days been.
Syd: Yes, but that's mainly because you attacked a teacher because you pretended to be a Tiger for the day, so yes, she kinda has a duty to ask you how you are.
Cyd: Oh I remember that! Gosh, I loved that day!
Syd: Just move already okay.
Cyd: Got it.

I finger gun at her before attempting to wink "Okay dokay"
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Edit (29/02/20)
Okay all of you know that im editing this and I only just realised I didnt edit the first chapter??? Anyway this is the more consise and hopefully less bad version of Chapter 1. Love it or not this is Im not crazy yet or INCY for quickness.
Below is my old author note anything in bold is normally a author note from before editing so ignore it or not what evs x
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Hi. Yeah, this is the first chapter... its not the greatest but I can assure you that it just gets weirder.

So comment please. I need the feed back to know if its okay or if its just random and I need to get a life in the real world...

Please!!! I do not want to get a life! I like the settee too much

Anyways, bye and thanks.

PS also vote if that's something you want to do...

Bye.