I'm Not Crazy Yet (editing)

Chapter 39: Fancy pasta

Sup my lovelies! So I hope you all had a great Christmas and I wish a happy new year to you all!

Now on with what I actually wanted to say which is me fangirling at the fact that about two-ish weeks ago I had 6.37K reads on this book, Now there is 10K reads that's like 4000 people reading in TWO WEEKS like that's a lot of people. The number of people that just spam me with votes and comments making my phone has a mini spaz. Still, even after you guys almost breaking my phone I wanted to say thanks a bunch for all the support you seem to like this book and think it's funny, I don't know why but either way thanks to my lovelies you are the best kiwi army I have ever had not that I have another army anywhere else. Still, I meran like you are the first army meaning I have nothing to compare you guys to so you must be the best in my oppinion which is good not a bad thing but a good thing . Oh god, I've ranted... I'm sorry... Love Ya!

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"I'm hungry" I whine I have been saying this for the last 1o hours-

Syd: It's been five minutes.

-and now I was slowly dying, wasting away here on this chair the only good thing was that they finally untangled me from my scarf which was good but highly uncomfortable after the person, Steve, had to do it. At the same time, I was still attached to the chair meaning I got to know Steve better than I would like to I mean why would he like grape flavoured cake! He really should die in a hole maybe one that he's dug himself, yeah that sounds about right. Perhaps then I can steal his rabbit he was telling me about it when he was untangling me which was weird because Steve looked like a vast bodybuilder I wouldn't have thought he'd like rabbits maybe kittens but not rabbits I just didn't get that vibe from him. I was going to fight him for it, but it was a lot of effort

Syd: That and we're tied up but you now laziness comes first in this situation.

"For god sake, someone gets her some food before I pull my hair out and feed it to her!" Shout a very very very very annoyed Deedee I mean that is a lot of very's, isn't it? I just nod my head super fast while saying :

"Yes! Yes, go peasants, fly away and bring me food!" If I had my hands, I would have flicked them and waved them in the air like I was casting a spell to make them do it but alas I could not which made me pout, but Deedee made them tie my hands up in my lap with the scarf after I tried to touch Steve's gun, he wasn't happy when I told him I wasn't allowed to play with them at home.

Syd how can you tell, he has three facial expressions, pissed, very pissed and I'm going to kill you.
Cyd, he smiles sometimes!
Syd: that's because he's smiling at the dead things. Oh and sometimes at us...... wait does he want to kill us?!
Cyd: Nah Deedee loves us

Of course, being bored and annoyed that no one moved all looking confused and scared to move I narrow my eyes at the man in the corner of the room who was as thin as a stick but was wearing all black and looked like a good Christian child went through a lousy emo phase but like in his forties.

Syd: Talk about a midlife crisis gone wrong.

"DONT FORGET THE LEMONADE!" I scream at him he just looks over at Deedee terrified before getting a nod and then leaving the room just as another fella came into the room. This man was shortish but still taller than me D: He was blonde his hair short at the back and sides but curly on top in a messy natural flick of a curl at the ends. He wore a dark navy blue jumper over a collared thin blue striped shirt that was messily untucked with faded black jeans and not tied lases meaning he would fall and I would laugh causing me not to tell him because when he falls I want to record it and forever be remembered of it

Syd: Still have our hands tied.
Cyd: I shall record it with my mind!
Syd: So you'll just watch it happen?
Cyd: No, I shall record it with my mind.
Syd: Mate you can't even remember the whole alphabet how do you think you'll remember some dude falling over?
Cyd: Because it will be someone else that isn't me falling and tripping on his face and then he will have a broken nose and blood-
Syd: Okay, I get it!

The door opened again and the emo looking dude comes over to me dodging the messy looking guy and Deedee and coming over to me and putting the tray down somewhere behind me and then holding a sandwich up to m face. It was a chicken and crisp sandwich it was heaven between bread! How did they know?!

I looked up to the emo bloke and nodded at him and patting his arm as I said " You did good child" But as I didn't have my hands I used my head to pat his arm with which is much harder than it looks. He just gives me a tight-lipped grimace while looking at Deedee again nervously. "Um excuse me midlife crisis Carrie, but I want my sandwich now either feed it to me, or I'll eat your arm!" This time the man looked terrified and brought his hand forward enough for me to take a bite and after finishing that half I asked for my lemonade I needed a drink from the heaven or in this case fizzy lemonade.

I sat in the chair, well what else could I do? as the dude brought the fizzy lemonade to my lips and tipping it but I accidentally breathed in making the bubbles go up my nose making me backwards sneeze you know when instead of sneezing outward you sneeze inward. Deedee looks over at me as I make a chocking noise as my face contorts into an expression sort of like a beavcoon while I stuck my tongue out as some of the lemonade goes up my nose. He glares at Midlife crisis Rita before then going back to talking to the man in front of him who was talking animatedly using his hands to show what he was doing,

"So I told the dude to shove his nasal spray up his arse-"

I begin to drink my again but as he says this I choke also making Deedee to once again look at me before glaring at the dude holding my drink after I stop coughing I head butt my cup away from my face making it splash a little all over me. However, I didn't care because I was still hung up on the dude's comment, "That's the wrong use of the nasal spray. I mean, don't you know what a nasal is?"

Syd: You don't know what a nasal is.
Cyd: Hush, my child.
Syd: I'm the same age as you!
Cyd: Don't lie; you know you're not.

"Shut up Cydney." Says a bored Deedee as he turns back to his friend who was now really super close to his face, so they were nose to nose and then the bloke who was scruffy LICKS. HIS. FACE.

"URG WHAT THE FUCK MAN!" says disgusted Deedee as he wipes his face before punching his friend in the face.

Syd: I ship it
Cyd: WE CANT!
Syd: Why not it's so cute-
Cyd: We don t know the dude's name, so we cant find ship names!
Syd: Ah, that is important.

"Yo dude with the terrible dress sense yeah you in the jumper!" I shout at the guy who was sitting on the floor rubbing his jaw he looks up at me glaring before standing up and dusting himself off.

"I'll have you know that I have a great fashion sense thank you very much!" I think he offended. Oh well!

"Yeah, sure whatever so what's your name?" He smirks and then puffs his chest out as he says the most boring name I have ever heard of.

"Enoch."

" That sound like food. More like a fancy pasta, fancy pasta is the worst. I'm sorry but who in their right mind names a child after really terrible pasta?" I say seriously. Deedee smirks as Enochs smirk falls.

"It's not pasta you stupid girl it's unique!"

"Pasta's not unique its food; god don't you know anything?" I frown and then look over at Deedee and say again "Deedee I'm disappointed in you I thought you'd have better evil henchmen that these buffoons I mean we have Steve the grape flavoured cake lover, Midlife crisis Emma the worst PI ever to exist who is sitting in the corner like a failed pancake and now this crazy person who doesn't know what pasta is!" Deedee tips his head back as he laughs at all the disgruntled faces that were now glaring at me, but they all stop suddenly when they see and hear Deedee laugh and not his evil laugh his usual laugh; I like it much more than his evil laugh, fewer nightmares.

I begin laughing along with him while everyone else stares at us confused and scared? "So is there a reason I'm tied up Deedee or is this just a brother-sister thing?" I gasp when I think of John "am I going to be punished?! I swear I didn't mean to wander off! But Mr fancy wasn't near me, and I wanted to pet the unicorn!" I cry "pl-please don't tell Johhhnnnn he'll punish me, and I don't like his friends and and and plllleeeeeeaaaasssseeee."

"Who the fuck is John, and why is he hurting you?"
"You have a sister?!"
Both Deedee and Fancy pasta say as I continue crying and sniffling.
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Edited(29/10/20)

I hate this chapter it does not flowwwwwwww

Edit (13/11/2020)
Lol yeah this was edited a few weeks ago and yea I didn't put it up