I'm Not Crazy Yet (editing)

Chapter 12: Dead Flys and Punishments

Edit (28/11/19)
Lol so I've just ordered my first Black Friday things!!!! And I've also got most of my Christmas presents I'm actually organised this year 😂
Anyway the chapter has been revamped and by revamped I mean I dumped glitter on it to hide the ugliness.
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The voice was deep and kind of scary, like an angry Santa and you better believe this nugget ain't going on the naughty list. I roll off Grandma but I used too much force and ended up rolling into one of the still intact chairs. I lay, my head staring up at the ceiling as I try and see who was there doing a floundering trying to do a sit up which just caused a muscle to pull in my stomach, eliciting a groan and I flop back onto my back. Well that's my exercise for the year! Hmm what do I do now?

Syd: *rolls eyes* Might as-well play dead, our funerals already here.

I squeeze my eyes shut stick my tongue out the side of my mouth and shove my arms and legs in the air like a dead fly.

Syd: *facepalms* Not like that!

"This fucking psycho child attacked me out of nowhere!" I can hear Grandmas hoarse voice shout at whoever had come into the room.

"I'm not a child! I'm actually a cloud" I interject my eyes still closed

Syd: Out of all things she said, that is what you heard?! She called us a psycho!
Cyd: Oh well that isn't nice. :(
Syd: *screeches into the abyss*

Everyone ignores me and continues their conversation

Cyd: Rude.
Syd: You are playing dead.
Cyd: *gasp* IT WORKS!
SYd: *facepalms*

"Jane how could she do that?" Said a familiar voice I just couldn't be bothered to remember, you ignore the queen the queen ignores you too! Or I could chop their heads off?
"How? How motherfucking so?! This bitch tore up the room, screamed for Dez and and then jumped me like a kangaroo?! That's how!" Her voice was slowly starting to go back to her normal grandmaness, her voice cracked but she still yelled.

Cyd: I wonder who's Dez?
Syd: I believe it might be Derrick.
Cyd: Whose Derrick?
Syd: Mr Coco
Cyd: Oh, I like him.

"I can see that Jane, what I'm asking is how the fuck did a teenager, a child best you, a highly skilled assassin?" Although the voice was calm it held an anger that I'm sure would make someone throw up if directed at you. The fact Grandma hadn't is impressive I really need to know how she did that, it will help in many situations.

Syd: Like what?!
Cyd: A situation where I do not want to throw up.
Syd: *to Gods above and below* Seriously what did I do to deserve this?

"I'm trained to take down other people, NOT fucking animals."

Syd: Hey! She just called us an animal.
Cyd: Humph, does she not know I'm a cloud fish?!
Syd: ...you mean a clown fish?
Cyd: No.

"Jane, hunny calm down-" I believe this was Tom soothing his wife. He was such a nice guy! 💕

"No, I will not calm down! She ruined my favourite couch! And attacked me! SHE PULLED OUT MY HAIR!" I believe she carries on ranting but I get side tracked by my stomach talking to me.

Stomach: Hey Cyd!
Cyd: Oh hey stomach, how are you today?
Stomach: Oh I'm fine I just want a little bit of food. Maybe some steak and chips, rare with some peppercorn sauce, a small salad on the side and for dessert a large hot chocolate brownie with vanilla ice cream.
Cyd: Oh well I'm so sorry stomach I completely forgot about you.
Stomach: Yeah I know! I'm mean that is why I'm talking to you now; you heartless woman!
Heart: Hey! I'm still here!
Stomach: I'm sorry, it was a figure of speech.
Cyd: What's a figure of speech?
Syd: *sarcastically* I don't know why don't you Google it?
Cyd: Yeah we should do that!