I'm Not Crazy Yet (editing)

Chapter 22: Heads, Spice and Everything Nice

Edited (14/02/20)
Hi again!!! So as you can tell it's valentines day and guess which bitch is sitting in her hospital room feeling lonely as fuck? Yeah, this bitch! So I posted so my single pringles have something to laugh at while people out smashing bits ❤️
Love ya guys Ez x
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It had been a few days since I was kidnapped

Syd: Technically you forced Mr Fancy and Gunner to kidnap you.
Cyd: That's the same thing.
Syd: I don't think it is
Cyd: pretty sure Id know if I wasn't kidnapped!
Syd: you don't even know how doors work!
Cyd: yes I do!
Syd: *raises eyebrow*
Cyd: well when the magic elves finish the door-
Syd: byyyyeeeee!!!!

Anyway, before I was so rudely interrupted I had been with Mr Fancy and his "guild of assassins" for a few days and everybody was flying around doing 'drills' as Skittles called them or out on assignments. So while everybody was busy I was either left on my own because "I distract everybody" it's not my fault they didn't like me watching them while I eat popcorn! So when I wasn't sleeping or playing with Ralph and Jim I spent a lot of time in the kitchen with the silver-haired lady who finally introduced her self as Samantha which is a dumb name so I'm just gonna call her Sunny because she wakes up when the sun does. I know it's disgusting. Sunny spent the majority of her time cooking and packing meals for everybody so no one went hungry as they travelled which again is dumb because everybody is super-rich and can afford McDonald's!

Everybody had been very busy today and was stressed so Mr Fancy said we could order pizza which caused me to squeal and jump around before Mr Coco picked me up by the back of my collar and held me in the air until I promised to sit still.
Once the pizza arrived Skittles sat on the left side of the small couch closest to the door while I sat on the right practically squished up next to Skittles. Mr Fancy sat across from us in large squishy armchair eyes glazed over, Alice and Zander sat on the couch to the right of Mr Fancys chair with Mr Coco sitting on the other side. Gunner sat on the last couch with Sunny one side of him and Kai the other as they all talked animatedly about something. The small poster child was sat in front of the couch me and Skittles were on cross-legged eating his pizza using a knife and fork!
WHO USES A KNIFE AND FORK FOR PIZZA?! Maniacs that who.

The room was peaceful as I glared at the poster child's stupid bowl-cut head when it was interrupted as a random person slides into the room across the wooden floors with his Spongebob socks.

Syd: No wonder these guys are so good at their job, they act like idiots one second and the next they've shot you! You'd never see it coming.

Once he stops I could actually take in their appearance, it was another man with skin paler than paper with messy dark hair as loose curls pointed in every direction. He had an oil slick coloured nose ring in with hazel eyes that were filled with sugar? Weird, maybe he'll let me dip my strawberries in his eyes?

Syd: Yes definitely ask him that. I'm sure murderers for hire will like you shoving fruit in their eyes.
Cyd: that good to know thank, Syd! :D
Syd: *facepalms*

The weird male slides into the room without slipping and jumps on Skittles pushing him over to land on top of me just as I was stuffing pizza in my mouth, oh no my pizza! As the weight of two giants land on top of me, Skittles and I let out an "Ooomph". Before I could register what the hell just happened the new human began speaking quickly with clear excitement in his voice like he just got news his grandma died

Syd: How the fuck is that good news?!
Cyd: Maybe she left him her stamp collection?
Syd: I worry about you.
Cyd: Thanks! :)
Syd *speaking to self* don't jump off a bridge, don't jump off a bridge, don't jump off a- you know what fuck it! *jumps off a bridge*