I'm Not Crazy Yet (editing)

Chapter 14: Redheads and Zombies

Edit (17/12/19)
I GOT INTO UNI GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!
I THINK IMMA GONNA HAVE A HEART ATTACK AND STOMACH EXPLOSION AT THE SAME TIME!!!!
IM CRYING!
GUYS!
I NEED HELP!
AAAAHAUUIHDBVA;JONVRHAJEGVHJ'DSB CVZJBDHVUY edwhxwc \4gNA';CLVS AJDKB GHMJ'woz
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Okay, I'm cool now.
sorta
But for real this bitch is going to uni!!!
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I was peacefully sleeping the room dark so of course, it must be night and is not time to wake up when a cheery happy go lucky voice burst into the silence of my sleep realm "Wakey wakey rise and shine!" Whoever did that is gonna get slapped with a granny. No one disturbs my sleep and gets away with it.
I was going to yell and throw her essence in a bin full of cacti but all that came out was a muffled groan of displeasure which I'm sure conveyed my thoughts exactly.

"Sorry sunshine, I have no idea what you just said but I will take that as a yes. You'll be down in 5, Kay. Bye." And with that, I'm asleep again not caring about getting up this is the first time I have slept in a proper bed and this was heaven! Whoever it was was just gonna have to talk to me later. So I'm just peacefully dreaming about how I'm going to get superpowers and fly around and steal all the chocolate in the world, and them BAM!

Foghorn right in my hearing hole I jump out of the covers and try to do this karate move I saw in Jackie Chan movie once, but being uncoordinated I fall tangling myself in the covers and roll off the bed. This bed is cursed! It's the only explanation, I'm always falling off it.

Syd: Or maybe you just have no balance.
Cyd: I have balance!  I have so much that the earth stands because I have that much balance.
Syd: The earth doesn't have legs.
Cyd: You don't know that.
Syd: Uh, yeah I do.
Cyd: No you don't.
Syd: Okay, I'll humour you. Why do you think the earth has legs?
Cyd: Well all the deforestation (Yes I know fancy words) is because mother earth is shaving.
Syd: I'm done.
Cyd: W-
Syd: Nope. No, Nope. Done.
C-
Syd: No.

I was in a tangled heap on the floor the covers wrapped around my legs making it hard to move, the cheery voice just gasps but does nothing to help me.

I hate people.

"OHMIGOSH! Oh, dear! This is terrible she's probably dead or maybe she has a concussion?! Oh no, this is all my fault I should probably get an ambulance. Wait no! I should hide the body... then no one will know it was me... This is bad. How on earth am I gonna carry her? I know I need an accomplice! Wait I can't anybody that has an accomplice always gets caught. Wait am I the accomplice that always tells the police! This is so bad I should have a funeral; for her family. Wait! no, then they'll blame me forever and I don't want that on my conscience or the fact that I'll have a mob every time I leave the house. This is so-"

As I try and kick my way free I kick what I presume is a tank

Syd: why the fuck would there be a tank in the room?!
Cyd: Why wouldn't there be a tank in the room Syd? Hmm? What if they are in desperate need of a tank in the bedroom! Ever thought if that Syd?!

causing me to yelp in pain and stick my hand out in the air trying to get the attention of the weirdo in the room.

Syd: pretty sure the weirdo is you.
Cyd: *dramatic gasp* how dare you!

"Ahhhhhhhh! Zombie!!!! Barricade yourselves inside the basement !" and then I hear a loud bang of my door slamming shut as I finally pop my head out of the covers.

Syd: Wow and I thought you were the crazy one.
Cyd: I'm not crazy. You're butts crazy!
Syd: ...d-do -huh?

Finally getting up and untangling myself I kick the covers for good measure with a huff as I leave my room trying to find the kitchen. It's an important feature in a house to find.
After wandering around for a while I decide to stop in the middle of the corridor and close my eyes. Taking a big sniff of the air to see if I could smell food.
Left? Nope.
Right? Not really
I turn my head once more to the front and take another big whiff Aha! Found it!
So with my eyes closed, I move toward the smell of *sniff* Bacon *sniff* pancakes *sniff* Nutella! and I run toward the smell.
I begin running with a few bangs into furniture before I straighten myself out and continue running.
Yet as I still have my eyes closed
1) don't see the person at the top of the stairs and 2) the stairs.
I, of course, run full force into what can only be a wall which is dumb to have in the middle of a hallway but these people are rich so they're a bit weird.
Then everything went in slow motion as I was suddenly suspended in the air before gravity (the bubble wrap ruiner that it is) slammed me down on the hard marble stairs causing me to open my eyes in pain. Definitely gonna leave a bruise.
Looking around I see I'm in the middle of the stairs. I was about the stand up when a thing hits me from behind and then we are a tangle of limbs as we roll the rest of the way down the stairs. I saw the world go by really fast and I began to get dizzy when both of us stop slowly a few feet from the front door.

Well, that was lucky.

I finally look around to see what hit me. The thing was actually a human (I know it's awful but in going to talk to Mr Fancy about getting rid of the infestation), a female human by the looks of it who was spread out on the floor slowly sitting up and rubbing her head. She had a bright red hair like the colour of cherries which was cut into a pixie cut her mocha skin was smooth with lighter patches appearing where she had scars. She had a black cami-top on and carky green trousers that had a ton of pockets it was weird/useful. She had one brown eye and one hazel eye with a slight blue tint to it. She had a sharp nose with a septum piercing and quite large lips that were placed into a deep scowl as she stared at me.

"Hello! I'm Cydney! Why did you knock me down the stairs?" giving the redhead a big smile while waving at her from my position on the floor.
"Ugh you must be new. I hate newbies." she muttered to herself before standing up to her full height which towered over me but that wasn't that hard as I'm tiny. "just stay out my way and don't touch me again." her smoky voice sounded deep and feminine that kind of voice that should be a fortune teller.
I giggle smiling "Okie Dokie fortune teller lady!" I stand up brushing the dirt off me "next time I won't run with my eyes closed!" this earned a look of confusion and a head to toe glance.
Hmm, why does everybody do that? Don't they understand the perfect logic of running with your eyes closed? Dummies.

Syd: What logic?!
Cyd: Super logic!
Syd: That doesn't even make sense!
Cyd: *sticks tongue out*

The woman shakes her head and storms off leaving me by the front door, I look around not seeing the kitchen so sniff the air again ( but with my eyes open this time so get for learning!) following the scent of Nutella and pancakes I wind through the long confusing hallways until I finally reach the kitchen. Once I stand in the doorway I take in the confusing situation if a silver-haired lady shouting at anyone in the kitchen mostly Gunner who she was clinging to and slightly shaking. She was pale with her hair in a bun and an apron wrapped around her waist. Although she had grey hair she didn't look old which is confusing cause only old people have grey hair. So doing the only logical thing I run-up to her grab her shoulders to lift myself and quickly sniff her neck. Old people have and old person smell so this is the best way to check!

After a long whiff, I land back on my feet and smile to myself "Nope not an old lady! My hunch was correct!" I then turn to see the pancakes and squeal in delight as I rush over to grab as many as possible.

Syd: Just saying you thought she was old, not young.

The silver-haired lady screams clinging the Gunner "Zombie! Kill it!" when nobody moves she screams again before running out the kitchen through those fancy doors that swing both ways.
Such fancy doors!!!!
Once she had gone the people all looked over to me while I shoved pancakes in my mouth from the tray as some idiot didn't get plates out. After an awkward staredown as I slowly chewed a random dude sighs before grabbing a plate and cutlery from another cupboard.
Who puts cutlery in a cupboard!?
Once I was handed the plate I sit at the island continuing the eat, I was broken from my pancake heaven when a gruff voice and glare are settled unto me.

"What did you do?" Mr Coco had his arms crossed as he leaned against the counter.

"I bibn'th o enthig." He rolls his eyes and then turns and walks out of the room. I quickly swallow and begin to attempt to speak. Attempt being the keyword here
"Wha-" I then fall into a deep coughing fit as I choke on a pancake, oh how fate is so cruel! Someone, presumably Gunner whacks me in the back so hard I feel like my lung is going to come through my nostril.

Can you be gentler!!!

But as I couldn't talk I just choked.

Mornings are the best!

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Edited: (24/12/19)

Hi guys Merry Christmas Eve!!!
The number of times I have gone to edit this is dumb I start to and then get sidetracked which is why this took so long.
Hope y'all have a merry Christmas or whatever you celebrate and a happy new year.
Xoxox
Love Ez x