Chapter IV - Kim's struggle

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Kim went straight to her shower room after eating.  She opened the shower as she just stood there with clothes on.  As she wasn’t able to show all her emotions when she was stunned at Pie’s place, this time, she used the water falling from her shower to cover so much tears coming off her eyes.

After an hour of crying in her bathroom, she came out with all of her clothes changed.  Kim laid down her bed.  She took the box on the table beside her bed.  She opened the box and took out all the pictures they had together.

By looking at those pictures, she remembered the first time she saw Pie and that on that very moment she knew that this girl, Pie, will be very precious to her. She remembered how she has always wanted to make Pie happy even if she didn’t understand why at first. She remembered how she fell for her secretly, afraid that Pie will hate her if she knew.  She remembered how she was wrong thinking that there’s no chance in hell, Pie will love her back.  And now, Pie, her beloved girlfriend is out of her life.  All she could do was cry as she knew it was her fault that the love of her life was gone.

The next morning, Kim woke up early.  She knew that Pie was gone and she felt like going insane thinking of her.  Knowing Kim,  she went out of her room to look for his father.  She knew that only her father would listen to her and that only him would understand her.

Kim’s father was at the winery checking the inventories as Kim entered the cellar.

Good Morning Kim!" Her dad greeted her with a smile.

Kim then just a little smile full of pain.

"Come here child.  Tell me anything."  Her father told her.

Kim and her dad sat on a bench.  Without saying anything yet, Kim started crying.

Her dad then put her arm around her daughter and taps Kim’s shoulder continuously.  She waited for Kim to gather her self and talk.

"I lost her dad," she said it as tears roll down her face.

Kim told his father everything.  How she fell for another girl. How she cheated on Pie.  How Pie found out everything.  How she chose to stay with Yam.  How she left Pie hurting all alone.  How she realized that she loves Pie so much.  How she said goodbye to Yam. How Pie broke up with her for she’s not confident of Kim’s love and loyalty anymore.  Until the time His father came to pick her up at Pie’s front gate.  Kim was in tears the whole time she was telling her story.

"What am I gonna do dad?" Kim asked.

"If I were in your place Kim,  I would give Pie the time to think on her own.  You are at fault so you should not demand anything from her.  If you really love her you should respect her decision.  I’m not saying you can’t fight for her.  Just give her the time to think first."  Her father answered.

"I want to fight for her dad.  How long should I let her be on her own?" She asked again.

His father replied, "For as long as she wanted to.  Remember when she asked you on how you can make her trust in your love again and you weren’t able to answer?"

"Yes dad. I remember," said Kim.

"It only goes to show that even you have not forgiven yourself completely for what you did.  If you want to fight for her, make sure that you already know the answer to her question.  If you’re gonna ask me for answer.  I say, only you can find out and you have all the time in the world to think about it."  Mr. Podrick said and their conversation ended.

After talking to his father, Kim stayed all day in her room.  She thought of Pie all day.  She weighed the things that are running in her mind.  Until she realized it’s already 8pm.  She went out to her room’s veranda.  Sat on a chair and looked at the sky.  She saw the moon bigger than usual.  She took her phone off her pocket and looked at Pie’s number.  She wanted to call her.  She wanted to hear her voice.  And just as when she was about to press the dial key, she remembered everything her dad told her.  She realized that he was right.  If she calls Pie now both of them are still confused.  And, if Pie asked her that same question again which he doesn’t figured out the answer yet,  she will hurt Pie more.  She just ended up looking at the moon, hoping that Pie is looking at it too.
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