Positive?!

[48]

Mark:

I stared at the bright blue surface of the water which the sunlight made shine like a diamond. It was absolutely beautiful and calming and the atmosphere nearly made me feel sleepy.

The situation had been too much for me and I had escaped to the school's swimming pool. It was very rare that someone came here during lunch and therefore it was probably the best hideout at moment.

I didn't know why people were so horrible or hated on me so much. A part of me understood that they judged me for the fact that I was pregnant and even kept it. They didn't know what I had gone through.

Every pregnant person had to make a lot of decisions and it started with the huge question if you wanted to have this baby or not. Everyone decided different and no one should be judged for their decision.

I didn't even mind that people stared at me. It was a bit uncomfortable but school life was quite boring so I knew that I was much more interesting than everyone's daily routine here.

But I didn't understand why people insulted me and even attacked the baby with their horrible words. I actually didn't know what their problem was. As if they got any problems because of me.

I sighed heavily and stroked my belly. Luckily, I had stopped crying. Junyeol's words had hit me hard because sometimes I still feared that I would fail although I knew Jackson was there for me.

His behaviour towards Junyeol had shocked me a little bit but I wasn't afraid of him. He was protective towards our baby and he would never dare to hurt the little one. I trusted him.

"Mark?" I flinched a bit when I heard the familiar sound of Jaebum's voice calling me. He came out of the changing rooms and was only wearing his swim shorts and a towel on his shoulders.

"Oh hi. Am I disturbing you here?" I asked because I guessed he wanted to swim a bit. "No, you aren't. Why are you here? I guess not because you want to swim." He said with a quiet chuckle and placed his towel on the bench.

"I came here because I needed some time alone. There's been an incident at the cafeteria." I explained which made Jaebum sit down next to me. He probably wanted me to tell him what I meant.

I told him about Junyeol and his card and about Jackson who had beaten the other boy up to defend our baby and maybe even me. The younger listened to me and also didn't interrupt me.

"And that's why you're here?" He asked when I finished telling my little story. I nodded in response. "This card hurts me more than I want. I needed some time to think." I told him and he leaned back.

"Junyeol has always been like that. I know it's not easy but you shouldn't take him serious. He just wants to make people feel bad." The black-haired male said and looked at me.

"Maybe but I'm so afraid to be a bad father and that I'll disappoint my baby." I admitted and looked down at my belly. A little smile grew on my face just like whenever I touched my bump.

"It's ok that you are a bit afraid but you shouldn't let other people tell you that you will fail. They just want to hurt you and they aren't worth it that you feel bad." Jaebum said and placed his hand on my shoulder.

I looked down at my hands. "I know but it's not easy to ignore them." I closed eyes for a moment and ran my hand through my hair. The other male seemed to think about a moment.

"You know, when I told the guys I was going to propose to Youngjae, the most of them were telling me that I am wasting my youth but that didn't stop me." He began and I turned around to face him.

"Of course, I had feared that it might be too early but whenever I look at Youngjae and see him smile I know it was the right decision. He's the love of my life and no matter what other people think. I'm sure about it."

I thought a bit about the younger's story. I knew what he wanted to tell me. He was sure about his own decisions and other people couldn't make him doubt on that. That's what I should do.

I was absolutely sure that I wanted to have my baby and raise it together with Jackson. Sometimes I was worried about the future but it never made me doubt my decision. Unluckily, other people did.

I cared a lot about what the people around me thought about my decisions. And that was probably the reason why I started to have doubts sometimes. Looking at my baby's pics gave me new power.

And maybe that was what Jaebum meant. Youngjae gave him power and he was able to believe in himself and his decisions and my baby gave me power and maybe I should start to believe in myself instead of in others.

"I think I know what you mean." I said what made the younger male smile. A rare sight because he normally was a bit cold on the outside but sometimes he showed his friendly side. This time it really helped me.

"Everything will be alright. Maybe you might not be able to ignore the mean comments from now on but you will learn it from time to time. And you also have Jackson." The black-haired said.

I smiled a bit. Yes, I had Jackson and I had never expected to be happy about that. He was a big support and gave his best to help me through my pregnancy, especially through the bad days.

"See, you can smile again." He patted my shoulder and got up from the bench. "You helped me a lot. Should I leave you alone?" I asked while he walked towards the water. He shook his head.

"You don't have to. I'm just going to swim a bit." Jaebum smiled at me and jumped into the water. The younger's words replayed in my head and I promised myself that I would try my best to believe in my decision.

—

In conclusion, no matter if it's about pregnancy, getting married, career plans or God knows what, it's your life so fulfill your own dreams, not other's 💌

I hope you enjoyed it!

Thank you for reading 💙