Positive?!

[70]

Mark:

I was nervous, very nervous. The nurse had a concerned look on her face while she looked at the screen which showed my unborn daughter. She didn't say anything but I feared that something was wrong.

The woman furrowed her eyebrows while the sonogram stick was still moving over my skin. I bit my lower lip while panic slowly overcame me. But I still didn't have the courage to ask what was wrong.

The nurse finished the ultrasound and got up from her chair. She handed me some tissues. "You can clean yourself up and go over and wait for Dr. Park. He will tell you the results of the ultrasound." And then she left the room.

I wiped the gel of my belly and got up. There definitely was something wrong. Normally, the nurse always smiled and told me how great my child looked but today she didn't say a word and just looked at the screen with concern.

I was afraid that she was sick or in danger. I would never be able to forgive myself if something happened to her because I hadn't been careful enough. My only wish was that she was ok.

I slowly sat down on one of the chairs in front of the doctor's desk. He wasn't there but I could hear voices outside the room. Unluckily, I couldn't understand what they were saying but it made me more nervous.

Dr. Park opened the door and walked over to me. He had a polite smile on his lips but it didn't look as happy as usual. I gulped. "Hello Mark. How are you today?" He asked me and sat down on his chair.

"I'm quite ok." I said and tried to hide my nervousness. He placed the papers on the table and looked at me with seriousness in his eyes and I was absolutely sure that my bad feeling was right.

"Please tell me, are you eating and resting well?" The doctor asked and I hesitated a bit. I actually had the feeling that I ate and rested enough but it seemed like it wasn't good enough for my baby.

"I'm eating good and I also get enough sleep." I answered his question calmly. He nodded a bit. "Resting doesn't only mean sleeping. It's also important that you are relaxed during the day. Physically and mentally."

I had to admit that I had had some stress during the last months. Jackson's thoughts about moving and the struggles with the money and the space in my current room made me worry a lot.

Sometimes, I took a small nap during the day or just laid in my bed but I usually used that time to think about my current problems. So it seemed like I wasn't resting as well as I actually had to.

"Is there something wrong?" I asked quietly. My heart was nearly beating out of my chest. I feared his answer. "More or less." He told me after a moment. "What does that mean?" I was confused.

"Your daughter is not sick or anything. She is actually healthy but smaller than she should be at this point and she seems a bit weak." He explained to me and I didn't know what to feel about this.

I felt relieved that she wasn't sick but I was also worried because she wasn't ok either. "Where does this come from?" I really hoped that his answer would help to do something to make my daughter feel better.

"There are a lot of possibilities. It's not unusual that some babies are a bit smaller than others. Your daughter has always been a bit smaller but everything was normal until now." He started to explain.

"The most common reason is stress. The baby needs energy and nutrients to grow and if you're stressed too much, you will use the reserves that you're baby actually needs." Dr. Park told me.

That sounded senseful and I was pretty sure that this was definitely the reason why my daughter was too small and weak at the moment. "What can I do against it?" I asked and hoped I could help her to get stronger.

"You definitely have to relax more. Ask your friends or her father to help you some more and you should stay at home for some time. Paternity leave would be a good idea." The doctor said.

I shook my head. I couldn't stay at home for longer than some days. "I want to go to school as long as I can. I can't allow myself to miss something." I told the doctor who just gave me a small smile.

"Normally, people go in maternity or paternity leave when they're in the seventh month. You're already in your eighth so it would be the best for you and her to stay at home." Dr. Park said.

I sighed. "But I'm going to miss so much. I already have to stay at home after her birth." I crossed my arms because I secretly knew that I had to stay at home to make sure she was getting better.

"No one can force you to stay at home but please think about it." He handed me my pictures from today's ultrasound. I looked at them and smiled softly. She was absolutely beautiful.

I wanted the best for her and that meant I had to stay at home. But I still had to buy furniture and also still thought about moving. I also needed to learn so I didn't miss anything in school.

"I really wonder how other teenager manage this." I mumbled what caused Dr. Park to chuckle softly. I really wondered how he could laugh in in such a situation when I was completely desperate?

"You're not the first pregnant teen who I'm treating. There have been a lot and most of them still managed it to graduate and go to college. One of them is even at your school." He said what surprised me.

"At my school?" I couldn't remember that someone in school had been pregnant but I didn't know all the students so it was possible. Dr. Park nodded in response to my previous question.

"Yes, he got pregnant at 16 and he was extremely scared. But he managed it with the help of his boyfriend. Their son is nearly two years old and the both of them will graduate this year if I'm not wrong." He told about the student.

"I don't have a boyfriend who helps me." I said but the older man just smiled a bit. "I'm sure you have friends and you also have your baby's father who can help you." He placed his hand on my arm.

I knew that Jinyoung, Namjoon, Jin and Jackson would help me with all their powers but I still wasn't sure if I would make it. The pressure was growing with every day. Dr. Park seemed to notice that I was still unsure.

"I could ask him if he has time to meet you. Maybe it helps you to talk to someone who has made the same experiences." He suggested and I had to admit that it sounded like a good idea.

"That actually sounds good." I answered what made the older man smile at me. "I'm going to ask him and if he is interested, I will give him your number and you can meet up. Would that be ok for you?" He asked me.

I nodded in response. "Yes. That sounds good." I said. A part of me was nervous to meet a new person but maybe it was good to talk to someone who had succeeded as a teen parent.

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Thank you for reading ♡