Positive?!

[86]

Mark:

"And you are sure about it? You know, we don't mind you being here." Sophia told me. "Don't worry, it's not because of you. I've been thinking about it for awhile and it's my own decision." I assured her.

The Wangs still seemed a little shaken by the news I had just told them. After months of living with them, I had finally decided that it was time to take the first steps into an own, independent life. I was moving out.

"Ok, if this is really what you want, we will support you of course." Sophia still seemed worried, but more assured than before. "It is what I want. It's time to take the next step. I'm grateful for all you have done for me." I said sincerely.

The woman lightly shook her head. "It was nothing. That's the least we could do after Jackson treated you so badly." She told me and managed a smile. "Still. You've given me so much and never asked for anything in return. I'll definitely pay you back somehow."

"Don't worry about it. The only thing we ask from you is that you take good care of Lily and raise her well. And we have no doubt that you will do that." She placed her hand on my arm. "Thank you so much." I hugged the woman.

I was truly grateful for everything the had done for me and Lily. And even if they didn't want it, I would definitely pay them back somehow. Maybe not with money but I would make sure to find something that would express my gratitude well.

I let go of her after a few seconds. "We will talk later, ok?" I got up from the sofa and left the room, my heart feeling a little lighter than before. I felt relieved, now that I had told them about my decision.

I had thought about it for some time. I enjoyed staying with Jackson and his family, they were a great help with Lily but I also couldn't and didn't want to depend on them for too long. I wanted a fresh start.

It had taken me awhile to think my decision through. Living with Jackson's family surely had its advantages. I had him and his parents to help me take care of the baby, Sophia did most of the household and I didn't have to pay rent.

However, Lily would need more space when she got older, we couldn't share my room forever. I wanted to stand on my own feed, have my first own apartment, give Lily her first own room (although she very likely wouldn't care).

Jackson didn't know about my decision yet. I had first told his parents since it somehow felt easier. Although we got along well, I wasn't exactly friends with them and they were "only" Lily's grandparents, Jackson was her father.

I wasn't sure how he would take it. Would he think I was taking his daughter away from him? Would he be angry because I got to see her more often? Would he fear that he wouldn't be able to form a proper bond with her?

We had gotten so close, became friends and a part of me was afraid that I would risk our good relationship and cause us to start fighting again, just like we had just a year ago.

It felt risky but I had made my decision and Jackson would have to accept it. It wasn't like he couldn't come to see Lily whenever he wanted. I didn't want to take her away, I didn't want to depend on other people anymore.

I wasn't sure when I would talk to Jackson. There were still some things that I had to settle, so I wouldn't move out right away. Would it be better to talk to him as early as possible or should I wait a bit more?

A part of me didn't want him to be disappointed if he knew I had been planning this for longer or even heard it from someone else. But I also feared that he would react negatively and I'd end up feeling guilty and staying.

Deep down I knew that the times Jackson was able to manipulate me were long over and I was sure he wouldn't even try but it wasn't easy to forget fears that had been a part of my life for years.

Either way, Jackson wasn't at home right now so I would still have around and I knew he would likely come home stressed and exhausted meaning today wasn't the best day to talk to him anyway.

I went over to the crib where Lily was napping quietly. Her breath was even, her face a little scrunched up. Contrary to popular belief, she didn't look like either me or Jackson so far (not that I thought she actually would).

Nevertheless, she was beautiful and just looking at her made me feel so many things. Love, adoration, pride and so much happiness. She was the best thing that ever happened to me and I would never let her go.

Although I wanted to take her in my arms, I knew that she didn't like being disturbed when sleeping and I didn't want to wake her up. So instead, I walked over to my own bed again and sat down on it.

I took the papers that were placed on my bedside table. I had already visited some apartments with my sister and narrowed it down to two which I was planning visit again to get another look at them.

Although I hadn't made my final decision about the apartment yet, I knew that I was only a few steps away from starting my own life. I was nervous and even a little scared but I was also excited for what was to come.

—

I knew it took me a long while. I'm sorry!

Thank you for reading ♡