Perfectly Matched | Levi X Reader •AU• (COMPLETED)

Chapter 22: Masquerade Ball • Part II

Chapter 22: Masquerade Ball • PART II

My mind can't focus on anything, the atmosphere is unsettling. I can't even feel that I'm still existing because of the numbness my heart feels.

Why does it hurt that deep?

Knowing that the person Levi was dancing with right now was his previous girlfriend cuts deep down.

I couldn't get the courage toturn my seat and look at them or it'll cause me to walk out of here. My expression can be read easily by Hanji, she was staring at me for a while now I can see. I know how much I look pitiful.

"Hanji... it's my fault. It's my fault that I let him." I rested my face on the table, audibly devastated.

"(Y/n)..." she sat beside me and squeezed my hand . "Don't blame yourself, it's okay, everything will be okay because you just thought you did the right thing..."

"But Hanji..." I let out a frustrated sigh, "Why? Why do I feel this way? Why do I feel like crashing?" I looked into her eyes with my almost puffy ones that is threatening to burst into tears. "Am I overreacting? Cause I feel like it. Why I wanted to cry? Why does it... hurts here?" I pointed my chest out.

Hanji held my hand tighter. "It's because you are in love."

Her words triggered me.

I am...?

"What?" I asked in confusion. "I-if I am... then I should feel happy, right?"

"You may not know, but crashing is a part of being in love. The way you feel right now is the sign that you're in love, (y/n) and it's only because you don't want him to be taken away from you..."

A single tear suddenly fell down from my cheek, my lips parted a bit while my face made a confused expression. "I-I don't know... but- d-do I really love him?"

"You'll find it out yourself..." Hanji smiled. "(R/n)... falling in love is not an act of will. It is not a conscious choice. No matter how open to or eager for it we may be, the experience may still elude us. Contrarily, the experience may capture us at times when we are definitely not seeking it, when it is inconvenient and undesirable."

After hearing Hanji's words, I don't know where did I got the full courage to glance at Levi and Petra. I know it still hurts, but I have to pull myself together and be strong enough to handle such a thing.

"I... I may have no idea what falling in love is but it might be the reason I was feeling this." I whispered. "Hanji, thank you..." I hugged Hanji.

"No problem." She squeezed my face lightly.

"(Y/n), don't let jealousy get the best of you." I suddenly heard Erwin behind.

"Erwin's right." Hanji hugged me again.

I smiled at them.

Maybe, this experience made me a little carried away. And it's only because amnesia took all of my precious memories away from me that I don't even know how to hold myself back in this kind of situations. But because I had these friends of mine, my weak soul became even more stronger that they guided me wherever path I take.

While I was watching them, a single but enough sign of hope entered my heart after witnessing how annoyed Levi was while talking to her. It's not that I hated her but she made me feel like that this is kind of competition over love.

Even if I had no idea what really love is. All I know is, love is the only way to escape from chaos in life.

Just a minute later, a familiar person suddenly walked in our table. He had a red hair, he wore a mask but something kept bugging me that I've met the person before but still that I had no idea what his name was.