Opposite Day ✓

(2) e-Day

January 27
(2) e-Day

· · ·

Ring ring ring

Incoming call from
Danny-boy

I'm putting today down in the record books as the day you called me the most. What is this, the fourth time?

Third. You make me sound clingy.

However, we also had a conversation via text, so we've communicated four times.

Who's counting?

Me, obviously. Why did you call this time?

I wanted to make sure you ate your chocolate cake.

I'm eating it right now, actually. You?

I ate a piece for breakfast and I'm making two more cakes for tonight when everyone comes over for dinner.

Aw, how sweet of you! That reminds me, how did last night go?

Mission accomplished: Aunt was surprised, Uncle digitally designed a card, the meal didn't burn, everyone was out of the house by 5pm, and no one was killed.

Did they like the movie?

I dunno, never asked. AUNT! DID YOU GUYS LIKE SECRETARIAT?

...ouch...

Aunt says that it made her cry.

I think I'm deaf now.

Oh, um, sorry.

It's fine. What did you guys – and gals – end doing last night?

We ordered some burgers from Archie's Grill. Then we drove to Caleb's dorm and watched Despicable Me. I haven't gotten that stupid song-that's-so-freakin'-catchy out of my head ever since.

The song isn't freaky.

BECAUSE I'M HAPPYYYYYYYYY!

CLAP ALONG IF YOU FEEL LIKE A ROOM WITHOUT A ROOF!

BECAUSE I'M HAPPYYYYYYYYY!

CLAP ALONG IF YOU FEEL LIKE HAPPINESS IS THE TRUTH!

BECAUSE I'M HAPPYYYYYYYYY!

Never mind, you're right.

I'm always right.

Except when you're left.

Just curious, what do you do with people who full-on swear and cuss?

Well, there are these lovely things called opera and soap.

I'm not even gonna ask.

If I'm talking over the phone, I start singing "Ave Maria" at the top of my lungs. If we're talking face-to-face, they usually end up with a mouthful of soapy water.