Opposite Day ✓

International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day

February 23
International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day

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Ring ring ring

Incoming call from
Danny-boy

Bleck.

Wha...?

Dog biscuits are disgusting.

You actually tried one?!

Isn't that what I was supposed to do?

I think this is a holiday meant for pets, Carole dear.

And babies. Georgia used to eat them when she was little.

Is that what gave you the idea?

Maybe.

Have you seen Georgia eat any recently? Like, in the past decade?

Maybe not.

I wonder why.

Oh, hush up, Danny-boy. "Live and learn," they tell me.

You've taken that to heart.

Seriously, why would they put a canine holiday on a human calendar?

Dogs can't read, so I suppose they assumed you'd read it to them. Plus, they can't open the treat bag.

Maybe that's why I don't have a dog: They're so stinkin' needy.

They're not stink— Um... I take that back.

Dog lovers across the globe hate you.

I can live with that.

Um, so my parents don't exactly trust me right now.

I wouldn't either if you're going around eating dog biscuits like that.

You're hilarious.

I know.

No, seriously, I've been an emotion wreck lately, and then I randomly ask them if a guy I haven't seen in years can come to visit. They think you're my trauma.

Do they know you might not be able to go to college?

Oh, they're aware.

And yet they still pin it on me.

Go figure. I mean, you did have some effect on me, so you're not completely innocent.

Guilty as charged. But aren't I the one who sent you $6,000?

And that seemingly makes you untrustworthy. A bribe, I guess.

How do I, an insignificant mortal, prove my worthiness?

Déjà vu?

It's Caleb, okay?

Oh, trust me, I know. Cecilia was an excellent source of information.