Beautiful, Loved and Blessed

Day One

"For real Jeanette? I thought you said that a nanny was only needed to pick your son up from school.  Now you're thinking about hiring a live-in nanny?  What the hell?  You know black people don't do that type of thing!" Tammy said irritatingly.

"Tammy, are you serious right now?  This has nothing to do with being black fool! It has to do with being a working mother and needing help with my child.  What am I supposed to do when a patient goes into labor in the middle of the night?  Or when Mr. Otis need his medicine at 2:00am?  Do you want to step up your Doula game and take care of the underprivileged community all on your own?  If so, please let me know and I will gladly sit down with you and discuss a pay raise."

My assistant Tammy was the only friend I actually had in Minnesota, but she was a handful. Tammy was a little older than me but still close in age and just as feisty, which at times, wasn't a good thing.  I was so reluctant to run certain personal things past her because she could either be the good angel or the bad angel on my shoulder.  She was actually in college majoring in Pan-African/African- American Studies when I initially met her during a class lecture at St. Paul University.

Her Professor was a member of my church and asked me if I would sit on a panel with other people from Louisiana who would come to speak to his class about the multi-culturalism of New Orleans.  His class had also been discussing the Les Gens De Couleur Libres of New Orleans and thought that hearing about that topic from a native who not only came from that lineage, but was also within the same age range of his students would be interesting.  I gladly accepted the invitation because it gave me a chance to be around people my age and I really yearned for that. What I didn't expect was for his entire class to aggressively ask me question after question about my Creole heritage.

Many of his students, especially his star pupil Tammy McNair questioned me about everything pertaining to my 'Blackness'.

Did I actually considered myself to be a Black woman?

Do I feel privileged because I looked 'mixed.'

How is being Creole different from being African-American?

It amazed me how some people actually think they can tell you about...you!  Well, after I decided to educate their misguided ass on the difference between heritage, culture, tradition and ethnicity, they knew exactly how black I was.  After the lecture, Tammy came up to me, apologized for her aggressiveness and formally introduced herself.  She asked me if she could interview me for her final paper.  I reluctantly said yes but we really hit it off.

While interviewing me one day, I got a call that a patient of mine went into labor.  Tammy accompanied me and she's been my assistant ever since, but her mind is still in that damn Pan-African class.

"First of all I'm still trying to figure out if being a Doula is really for me.  I like the money, but it does get in the way of my party time.  What I'm trying to say is that we don't have people staying with us to watch our children.  When did we start doing that?"  Tammy asked.

"First of all....Who is 'we'? And second of all, you don't have children...or any real responsibilities for that matter.  Your parents still pay all of your bills, so what would you know about needing real help?"

"Maybe I don't know anything about needing real help, but I do know that you don't allow some stranger to live with you. Have you ever watched 'Single White Female,' 'The Hand that Rocks the Cradle' or any of those movies that warn people about not trusting strangers to live in your home?  And why do you need a nanny all of a sudden?  I thought you said you were putting money in your budget this school year for late pick-up fees."

"Well things have changed. Preston is now in this music program at school and twice a week, I have to pick him up by 5:15pm.  If I'm consistently late, it could cause Preston to not fully participate in the program.  He loves music too much and I refuse to risk that for him.  At first I was thinking about getting a nanny to just pick him up for those two days, but then I realized that Preston is getting older now.  I can't be taking him with me in the middle of the night like I use to. He needs adequate rest now that he's in school full time."