Apartment No.4

Part 44: You love me; it's the rules.

GUYS WE HIT #21 I ACTUALLY CAN'T BELIEVE IT! THANK YOU SO MUCH YOU ARE ALL GIFTS TO ME AND EVERYDAY I CAN'T BELIEVE PEOPLE ACTUALLY VOLUNTARILY READ MY BOOK HAHA!

Love you guys loads! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Two days since Mason returned I still felt like I was stepping on eggshells despite the fact that he was being uncharacteristically sweet and rather unsettlingly quiet. I still felt like things hadn't been resolved and that there was a question of trust between us. He knew I wanted to help and that what I was doing wasn't just for him but was for Claire, but I'd hurt his pride. That's something hard for him to bounce back from.

"Here, I made you a coffee." He passed me a steaming mug and I smiled warmly to thank him. This was the fourth coffee he'd made me in two hours and as a result I was starting to get a weird tingly feeling in my fingertips.

"Do you wanna watch a movie? There might be something good on Netflix?" I called from the couch to the kitchen. There were shadows under his eyes from a lack of sleep and I knew that he was being cautious around me.

"Yeah, maybe. I'll just clean up in here first." He wiped down the benches - another uncharacteristic movement - so I sighed heavily and went to stand in front of him.

He'd barely touched me in the few days that had gone by. Even when we slept I would usually have my head resting on his shoulder while his arms wrapped tightly around me, but now he slept with his back to me. I felt lonely and just the very thought of it made anxiety fill my belly and tears prick at my eyes.

I rested my hand on his warm chest and felt the steady thrum of his heartbeat beneath my fingertips.

He stared down at me, his eyes unreadable his face stone.

"I miss you," I whispered, my voice getting caught in my throat towards the end and I felt a sob ripple through my shoulders.

"I'm right here." He returned, his eyes softening a little as he stepped slightly closer and he brought his hand up to my wrist. I expected him to push me away but he flattened my palm against his heart as though he were trying to prove that he was standing in front of me by letting me touch his heart with my bare hands.

"But you're not. You're not here. You're not here with me." I suddenly felt exhausted despite the amount of coffee I'd been given. There was a massive weight on my shoulders that I could feel pressing me down to the earth that wasn't gravity.

He swallowed hard and deliberated his movements slightly before pulling me into a tight hug that would be painful if it weren't for the fact that I was craving his touch. I buried my face into his chest and inhaled deeply, letting my head swirl with him. All him.

"I know that this isn't for me. It's all for Claire, she's the one who needs the money but I guess... I guess I'm still getting used to trusting people with things that I handle myself. I wish I could and I'm trying, really I am. But it's hard." He spoke softly, and I buried my face deeper into his chest. Having his arms wrapped around me dissolved that odd breathless feeling you get when you miss someone's touch, along with the feeling of their hands on your skin without them actually being there... Almost like phantom hands that leave only a sense of aching for their touch.

"You said you were at Ethan's? As in Ethan Delaney?" I brought my head up to question him, my face contorted in confusion. I didn't realise that he and Delaney were so close, I mean, I'd seen them talking at his party but I had no idea they were friends per say.

"No, a different Ethan. Ethan Ashwood." He avoided my gaze, staring off into the distance as he brushed his fingers up and down my back gently.