Twin Grier

31

claire;

@seananderson has requested to follow you

i accepted his request as i sat on the floor of my ballet class. we were taking a break and my feet felt so sore, like every day.

i felt like sean was trying to get close to me but i hope it wasn't in the way that i thought it was. even if i didn't tell him i was dating wes, i think he'd figure it out on his own.

after ballet 👗

i said bye to Ms. Wilson and headed out with willow. we talked until my mom pulled up and i say bye. when i got home, i went upstairs avoiding all the guys. yes, they were still here.

i groaned, massaging my feet. it wasn't feeling any better so i did what i always did when this happened. i went downstairs, getting an ice tub.

i filled it with water and as it filled up, put ice inside. i turned the water off, taking it outside where it was so humid. i set my feet inside, sighing at the feeling.

i sat there, as i replayed what i'd done after eating out with wes and hayes. i never thought i'd be one of those girls to do that. i hated it.

flashback ⚡️
*trigger ⚠️*

"text me when you get home okay?" wes says. i nod my head and he brings me in for a hug, picking me up off my feet in the process.

he gives me a kiss and sets me down. i wave bye as his uber drives off. our uber arrives a few minutes later and we get in heading home.

when we got home, i said goodnight to hayes and went up to my room. i changed into some sweats and hoodie before i layed on my bed, texting wes.

the whole time, i couldn't shake the feeling that my stomach felt full and i didn't like it. i sat up, wanting it to go away. i felt disgusting and i didn't know how to make it go away.

until i remembered watching a scene in a movie where the girl made herself throw up to shake the exact same feeling that i was feeling.

i knew it was wrong to do that. i knew that you were hurting yourself to do that but in the moment, i wasn't thinking. so i got up, leaving my phone on my bed.

right when i was about to lock myself in my bathroom, my phone dinged. i turned around to see the message.

wes 😽: today was one of the best nights ever thanks to you. goodnight darling

i smiled from ear to ear, almost forgetting about what i was going to do. almost. i set my phone down and walked into my bathroom, locking the door.

i could hear my heart beat rapidly as i stood in front of the toilet. i tied my hair in a messy bun, sitting down in front of it.

i sighed deeply before placing my index finger in my mouth. i went as deep as i could, gagging as my only reflex. i tried not to make any noise and kept on until i felt it coming up.

after everything came out, i flushed it and washed my face. i stood there for a second contemplating what i had just did.

i left my bathroom and sat on the middle of my bed. i started to cry silently regretting what i'd done.

back to the present luur
(imaging kian lawley saying it, i
love him so much it hurts )