Twin Grier

49

claire;

today was the first day of going to therapy. i wasn't really psyched about it.but i was missing school so in a way it was a win - lose.

it was chilly outside but not freezing so i wore a white sweater with SALTWATER written on with collection written under it.

i wore an elastic waist thulian colored skirt with my low top converse and a simple bracelet.

hayes and nash had already left for school. the guys were all still sleeping so me and my mom were the only ones awake with james also asleep.

i tucker the front of the sweater into the skirt, looking in the mirror. the skirt used to fit my just right but now it was really loose. as i went down the stairs, i had to keep pulling it up since it was falling.

i sat at the counter in the kitchen, looking through twitter. i decided to tweet something since i literally never have. i only ever retweet and like things.

my mom was making french toast which smelled really good but i could just imagine all the grease that was going to come out of it. i shook my thoughts away, trying to find something to say.

claire grier @clairegrier • 11/28/16
i'll miss u

a reference to ballet. since i won't be doing it. for now at least. mom placed a plate full of french toast, eggs and bacon for me to eat.

"eat up. all of it." she always says that each time i eat. it's starting to get really annoying. i grabbed my fork, eating the eggs first.

i move the bacon to the side and only eat some of the french toast. i finish before she does and drink some of my oj. "i said eat all of it." she says.

"but i'm full mom." i respond. "are you sure? you didn't even give the bacon a chance." she says. i chuckle softly saying, "i'm sure."

psychologist's office 🗣

we walked into the office, mom telling me to go to the waiting room while she talks to the lady at the desk. i walked over and sat down.

the waiting room looked more like a living room to be honest. probably to make you feel comfortable and not freaked out which i was.

mom sat down next to me after a few minutes, and we waited. i was on my phone once again, bored to death, when a lady called out my name.

i put my phone in my pocket, getting up. i walked over to the lady, who smiled at me. i smiled back and she lead me down a hallway and into i'm guessing her office.

after 👩🏻‍💼

i said bye to the lady, who goes by florence. i thought she'd be really boring and rude but she wasn't. instead, she offered me candy right when i sat down.

i thought it was a test but i said no. and that's where she laughed and i was confused. she goes, "do you hate candy?" and i say, "no, i don't."

"so why did you refuse?" she asks. i shrugged. "see, you don't know the answer because you did want it." she had a point and i realized then that she had an accent which wasn't really important.

"how'd it go?" mom asks as we walk to the car. "it was okay." i shrug. "well, you're gonna have to get used to that for the next few months." she says.

"ugh. i kinda hate how you're making me do this." i say. "kinda?" she asks. "ok, full on hate." i say. she chuckles as we get in the car.

home 🏡

i go up to my room, stopping when i see wes sitting on my bed. i walk slowly, sitting down next to him. "hey love." he says. he seems cheery.

maybe he doesn't know? "hey." i say as he kisses my cheek. "one question." here it comes. "are we breaking up?" he asks. "what? no!" i say.

"oh good. i ask because you tweeted out "i'll miss you." i thought "oh crap" and came here straight after school. by the way, i didn't see you in algebra. why?" he pulls me closer to him.

i was about to say "oh i had a cough." but i'd ruin our relationship if i lied. i moved my self from him, getting up. "i was at therapy." i say.

"... therapy? for what love? did something happen?" he asks getting up. he grabs my hands in his, staring into my eyes. i smile sadly, as tears start to form in mine. "i'm really sorry." i say.

"for what darling? you're freaking me out. what happened?" he asks, this time caressing my face. "i went to therapy because i basically have an eating disorder." i say. "what?" he asks.

"how could you possibly do that to yourself love." he says, wiping my tears. "you're so beautiful to me. every time i see your face, there is only so much i can take. don't be so hard on yourself when it comes to what you look like."

"you're beautiful inside and out. i hope you tell yourself you're beautiful. i hope you believe it. it's okay to cry and it's okay to be sad. in the end, the only thing that matters is what you think of yourself. the good things about yourself. like your eyes, your smile, your hair, everything. everything about you is the reason i fell for you. i'm here for you." he says.

he kisses me gently, hugging me right after. "i love you." i look up at him. "i love you too. always." he says.

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awwww, dis cute. - ash ☮️
6/15/18