Twin Grier

32

claire;

through the next few weeks, i distanced myself from everyone i loved. when someone wanted to do something, i made up an excuse. even with wes.

the only thing i did was go to school and ballet class. i stopped going on any social media and basically isolated my self from the world.

i didn't know what it was but i felt so down ever since the whole feeling nasty incident. i would go to my room and sit there, crying silently.

i could barely go into a bathroom without thinking about wanting to do it again. right now, i was in health with hayes and milo.

(they alternate between p.e & health)

the funny thing about it was that we were talking about signs of eating disorders and what to do. throughout the whole thing, i dozed off, thinking about anything but that.

i thought about how much i actually missed my friends. and wes. i missed him so much. i hadn't seen him since then.

he'd texted me a bunch of times, like everyone, but i just turned them on don't disturb. i thought about my brothers. i missed hayes. and nash.

even though i saw them all the time, it felt like i hadn't seen or talked to them in forever. i realized, while sitting in my desk at school, that nothing was going to change unless i did.

i realized that if i got deeper into this "hole" i was in, that scarlett had won and i'd lost. and that was not going to happen, not on my watch.

scarlett was not getting to me anymore. and if she did, i would tell myself what i have and how grateful i am. i know it sounds so cliche, but it's so true.

"claire!" hayes taps my shoulder. "what?" i ask. "the bell rung 2 minutes ago. let's go home." he holds out his hand and for the first time in a while i take it.

i can tell he looks surprised. we walk hand in hand to the parking lot where nash is waiting since he doesn't have practice today.

when we get home, i go inside, passing my mom and james in her office. i head up to my room and lock the door, going to my bed.

i sit there and watch baby daddy on netflix for a while since it's the only show that makes me laugh nowadays.

the hours pass and mom yells up the stairs that she's going to be gone for a while with james. i get up, hearing the door close.

i leave my laptop playing and head into hayes room, with my heart pounding. "hey." i barely whisper. he turns around on his bed, seeing me and smiles.

"what's up?" he asks, scooting some. i sit next to him, seeing that he's playing some game. "just wanted to talk." i say, fiddling with my fingers.

he gets up to close the door, locking it in the process. he sits next to me, grabbing my hands. "hey, claire calm down yeah? we don't have to talk about this now." he reassures me.

i pull my hands away. "no i want to. if i don't, i'll never." i breathe in deeply before starting. "so, you remember after wes' game, we went out to eat?" i ask, already knowing his response.

"yeah. that was great." he laughs. i chuckle before tears start streaming down my face. "i agree. but what happened after, not really." i'm now bawling.