Fallin 4 u

69.

Donald Earle Degrate Jr- 1996
Charlotte, North Carolina, America

'Uggghhh where the hell are my pills?'

I looked everywhere in my suitcase for them as I had to swear to myself not to flip out in front of my family and they see me do shit to Justine that will lead me to the police. Damn every night I go to sleep, I feel guilty for the shit I do to Justine. I cheat on her with multiple hoes, I control her every move and the worst is when I beat her up. I was thinking these pills would help me tone down my level of anger but they don't do a thing, that's why I stop taking them and now look at what I've done to her, now I'm forcing myself to start taking them again so I can act right around her and my family.

'DeVante' I hear Justine knocking on the door

'In a minute' I shouted back

As soon as I find the pills, I quickly shove them back into the bag so she wouldn't find out.

I opened the door and she stood there with an apologetic look. I examine the cut I put on her face and I tried so hard to look elsewhere but it's hard to when it's just there on her face.

'Are you Okay?' She stares into my eyes

'I'm fine...why do you ask that?' I nervously laughed

'DeVante you can tell me anything' she said

'I have nothing to tell you' I said to her

'You are hiding something from me' she said

'Hiding What?' I asked confused

'DeVante I'm not dumb your mum told me you are struggling'

For fuck safe!

'Do I look like I'm struggling?' I asked her raising my voice a little as I bragged her into the room closing the door

'DeVante whats going?'

'YOU AIN'T HERE ME...NOTHING BITCH!' I shouted

'WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING BITCH?' She checked me

'YOU THE ONLY ONE IN FRONT OF ME' I Shot back

She gave me a dirty look, which made me feel threatened a bit because I didn't know what the hell she was going to do next and how the fuck I was going to react.

She stormed to where my bags were and started rummaging through my luggage trying to find shit I was hiding. My heart started to beat as I realised I put my pills in there. I could not let her know I was sick, that would just fuck up this whole engagement even more and she probably be even scared to look at me.

'WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?' She shouted as found the pills

I looked up with embarrassment as I slapped the pills out her hand. My whole body started to get heated as she just went and made this situation get even worse than it already is.

I started to tense up as I rushed straight to her and my arms wrapped around neck as I pushed her against the wall. I didn't even realise I was squeezing her that hard as cold tears fell onto my hand and her nearly passing out. I let go of her immediately and just stared at her as she coughed numerous times. I didn't know what to do, my eyes started to get glossy really quickly. I couldn't believe that I nearly killed her.

Now I feel like I should've told her what was up so this wouldn't happen, but she fucking tested me. She brought this on herself. No one told her to fucking rummage through my suitcase like a damn bird looking for food in the trash can.

Damn I really fucked up!