Fallin 4 u

74.

Justine Indira Skyers- 1996
Oakland, California, America

This little bitch I call my sister forced my ass to come on this tour with her. Damn I wanted to spend that time planning the wedding as to too many people getting into my shit asking me questions like When is the wedding going to happen? Where is it at? What time will it start?..... All that shit! Damn it's bothering me so much.

Speaking about DeVante anyways I have a feeling from the inside is telling me some shit is going to happen back home now that I'm not in sight to see him. I trust but not that much. You see he cheated with so many hoes behind my back....night probably lost count of how many hoes he fucked but besides the point, I threatened him before I left. If I here any news that he was smacking it, rubbing it with some hoochie and I have full evidence, I'm leaving his ass. Yes I've said this so many times but I'm realising the reason he keeps cheating on me is because I'm easy on him....I always take him back. And it ain't healthy for me to be in a relationship where I think cheating is okay.

Yes I'm going to say this, I HAVE TUST ISSUES! But that's what happens when your man make you crazy. I made sure that I'm going to be calling him every morning and night and I have some of my girls watch his ass before he does anything stupid. I didn't tell him I would that they will be doing this because he gonna start acting up.

Anyways let's scrap this shit now....Too many people have been telling me I think Tupac likes you....Do you like Tupac?.....He talks about you all the damn time.....After you have him a hit, he's been going crazy for you!

All that shit from my friends and family and damn if those rumours get to the media, my ass is done.....DeVante gonna beat the shit out of me....I'm gonna go crazy.....I will be lonely again, all because of the rumours.

Now Tupac better act right right because I don't like him like that. If I did, my ass would be with him already. Like he's he's fine and all but I just like him as a bestfriend and if I get freaky, my fuck buddy!

Damn boy be hitting the right spaces....and I've only done it once getting all this cheating shit out!

'Why you so happy?' I asked smiling at Sira

'Girl I'm smiling because I'm happy' she smart mouthed me

'What you so damn happy about then?' I asked

'Girl you know what's up' she said back

'What's up?' I asked confused

'Girl that boy was talking non stop about you!' She squealed

'What did DeVante say?' I asked

'Not DeVante! TUPAC!' She shouted

'Girl you know I'm not siked out about Pac' I explained 'he just my home boy'

'Hmm that's what they all say' she muttered

'Sira you ain't see her finger?' Alesha asked 'she got herself a man, DeVante....even though he a big dickhead.....' she trailed of

'What my man do to you know?' I whined

'You didn't know....he took our asses for granted and treated us like shit' she shot

'Yeah we wasted all our talent on his lazy ass!' Aisha butted in

'Y'all are so ungrateful, if he never chose yo' ass as a group, you wouldn't be where you are today!' I Shot back

'Damn you choosing your man before your family?' Sira questioned me

Damn what he did to them was horrible but damn the putting all his blame on me like I was the one that treated their asses poorly....like damn they making me feel guilty, acting as if DeVante is a bad person but he's just understood.

'See her ass quiet because she know she wrong and we right' Sira Shot back making me sigh heavily

How my own sister making me feel bad?

'That's Why you should choose Pac instead of him....y'all seem to be having so much more fun than his boring ass' Sira poked out

'You know fuck this...y'all mad because y'all don't have a man satisfying your asses' I Shot back

'At least I don't go running back to them after they beat me down all the time!' Sira got up from her seat

'Yo Sira back away man that shit was deep' Alesha said

'No! She needs to hear his' Sira Shot at her 'she wasting her time with a man that don't treat her right, cheating on all those hoes and all them scars on her face....them girls ain't beat her up, I beat it was that weak ass nigga you call your man beat her up. I know for sure that Tupac is right for her, even high he talk yo damn much, he would've treated her like a queen, not like an animal. I don't even What that nigga in our family, when I see him I feel sick, and you still stay around his dick. You know what fuck this....don't invite me to your bitch ass wedding....stay there and let him beat you up, cheat on you.' She stormed of hitting my shoulder

I just stood there looking at Alesha and Aisha. My eyes were heating up from the tears that were on the verge of spilling. My lips started to quiver as I tried opening my mouth but I realised I was crying.

Is that how she feels about DeVante? Does she hate him that much that she don't want anything to do with me?

The more frightening question is how the hell doss she even know my ass is lying? How does she know that he hits me? How does she know that he cheats on me? Is there something she's hiding from me?

At this moment, I feel like everyone is hiding shit from me now, like Sira don't  like him, Tupac suspecting shit from him and sooner or later the girls ain't gonna support me later. It really hit me to think am I doing the right thing marrying DeVante?