Get Up 10

Chapter 16 - Letting Go

Ambrosine Brooks

I left Saint's home immediately yesterday once I noticed he was trying to leave out. My time with his so far has felt like a rollercoaster. I crossed several lines putting my hands on him. I don't care how drunk I was it was wrong. That's probably why he hadn't texted me back.

" He isn't answering his phone... I feel bad."

" Girl why would you hit him!"

" Why the hell you give me that idea anyway he wasn't mad about being hit as much as he was mad about the phone call!"

" All my ideas are bad when I'm drunk!"

" Just let him reach out to you. You cannot keep throwing yourself at him or chasing after someone who doesn't want to be chased. Just be happy that man didn't put his hands on you. He disrespected you yes, and you both were in the wrong but hitting him is not going to solve anything."

" Yeah. I was dead wrong. I definitely don't want to keep texting him he probably on to a next bitch by now." I shrugged.

" Give him space. He seems like a cool guy and he's been nothing but kind to you minus him making you leave. Plus he was definitely all over you publicly."

" You both need to apologize but maybe now it's just time for space" She was speaking in circles. Definitely still drunk.

" You have a valid point. I just can't believe I hit him." I sighed.

" Don't be so down girl, we can go out to clubs and live life. You'll find you someone else. Life goes on."

I sighed. " Yeah I guess. I don't think I got it in me to date so quickly though."

" Damn he got you sprung like that?" She laughed

"Absolutely not" I added.

" I feel you, or you can always entertain the one ex you have or your cute co worker" She shrugged.

" No and No."

" My solemn focus is to just keep working on me.I'm not perfect but I definitely don't always have to show it. I don't want drama following me. I have to make better decisions."

" I feel you girl. You can always be a fuck up around me though. I don't judge"

I laughed a bit.

" But at least I got a chance to see how pretty Miami was. He pointed out that I had a drug dealing daddy and never been to Miami. I fumbled him."

" Girl Niche ain't shit, please don't mention that man anymore. I get heated just thinking about his pit faced ass"'

Omniscient

Both ladies burst out laughing.

Ambrosine wandered upstairs to the bathroom.
She began a pep talk staring in the mirror. A dark skinned beauty stared back.

" He's handsome but he isn't worth the chase."

"Get it together Ambrosine. Block his number and Instagram and just go on. You tried to apologize so don't beat yourself up over it"

" Maybe he just likes air headed girls" She sighed going to his Instagram to block him.

" Ugh I can't believe I'm talking to myself"

She ran water splashing her face.

" Why did I hit him?" She sighed.

She feared that he would never forgive her and just see her as some "aggressive and rowdy black bitch" She was taught never to be too loud or bring much attention to herself and she did the opposite. Embarrassment was an understatement.

Whenever he popped up on her newsfeed liking post the girls were never dark so it made her feel a bit self conscience. "Why me?" She thought. That's why blurted out she wasn't his sex doll. Maybe he just wanted to experiment with her. Maybe it was to prove a point.

Was it because she was Niche's daughter? She got anxiety thinking of how petty he could be. Sleeping with his enemy would start a war where her heart would be the first casualty. Niche didn't care about her but he felt like he owned her. If word got back to Niche that she was sleeping with the man who took food off his plate—all hell would break loose.

She stared back in the mirror at herself and began to knit pick at her beauty until she felt like she didn't have any.

Her skin wasn't what made her uncomfortable but rather the way society treated it. She was living in a world where men preferred the lighter complexion opposed to hers. Her melanin was seldomly appreciated. Seeing his baby mother proved that he had a type even more. She played it cool and took the disrespect but in the end she was the one who ended up looking like the fool.

Why did I have to be that stereotype and hit him? She wondered.

She has never hit a man before unless it was to defend herself from her father. Deep down she was intimidated and afraid of Saint Josiah because she feared that his true colors would be no different from Niche's. Her entire perspective changed. He was patient with her but she played in his face.

She began to wonder if he still had feelings for his baby mother and if what they had was only just her being his company on a trip. She always saw memes throughout Instagram about niggas flying females just to get their dick wet and it honestly had her feeling some type of way. Men fly women out all the time when they have the money to do so this wasn't unlikely. Maybe it was just that.

What was initially a plan to live a little and escape Harlem actually turned into her falling for him too soon. He was nothing like she thought he would be. The mean mug and rowdy behavior she's seen and heard about him over the years made her confident he was nothing but a pretty face with an ugly personality. He became vulnerable for her in that short time and she admired the effort he put in to get to know her life. His constant advances earned her heart. She has never felt this type of love before.

In reality, if you do not let go, learn to forgive and move on from situations you cannot move forward in life.

It was fun but it was also time to move on.

Saint was in the early stages of his newfound career in the drug game. He didn't have time for Ambrosine. It was clear she'd be a distraction. He needed a clear mind so he knew who he could trust and keep around.

As time went on, he noticed weeks had passed since they've last spoken. He was barely home, barely sleeping and when he did get free time it was time for him and his daughter. He felt bad about it.

...But Pablo warned him that love could get him killed.