Get Up 10

Chapter 30- All the way home.

Tuesday Morning
Saint Josiah

I been home for two days and was ready to see Ambrosine but when I got back she wasn't at my crib. I stopped by her spot and nobody was home. I missed the hell out of Ambrosine and wanted to just be laid up under her.

I called her five times and no answer. I assumed she was sleeping because it was a little after 10pm but decided to call Chasity and make sure she was fine. I kind of felt like she was avoiding me.

"Hello?"She answered.

"Yo wassgud, you around Ambrosine by any chance?" I asked. She took a while to respond.

'"Yeah but she sleeping." She responded.

"Alright well whenever she wakes up if she does tonight let her know to call me. I ain't seen her in a minute. Wanna make sure she cool." I said.

"Alright I'll let her know you called. Goodnight." I said before hanging up.

I sighed. I was wondering if she felt some way about me being on a trip even though she wasn't feeling the best. It wasn't the best move on my end but I was stressed myself. I'll have to make it up to her.

I picked up my phone to call up Jah and let him know I touched towns. I pulled up on him not too long after to discuss some shit that went down while I was gone.

The entire time I was out I felt like I spent more time glancing at my phone waiting to hear from Ambrosine. I felt like I was doing too much but at the same time not doing enough.

Nova went back with her mother so I took that opportunity to get high and fall asleep once I got home. I managed to sleep for a few hours before I got a phone call from Natalie this morning letting me know that Nova got a little cold. I guess the switch in weather wasn't such a good idea. She took her to the doctor to make sure she was good. I was happy to hear that.

I decided to call Ambrosine after speaking to Natalie.

"H-hello?" She didn't sound like herself.

"Hey love, how you feeling?" I asked.

" I'm not feeling too good." She admitted.

" What's up? You need something?" I asked her. She didn't respond.

" Hello?" I said

" Audi?" I spoke again. I got no response so I hung up.

Ambrosine Brooks

Sleeping pills have been my best friend. I couldn't face the world right now. I wanted an escape.

I've been in bed since I got home from the doctor. I really need to sit down with Saint Josiah and explain everything to him but I was scared. I only left my bed to take medicine, use the bathroom and shower. I didn't need to feed a baby anymore so I stopped eating. My only meal was water for the sleeping pills I took.

I have to miss a week out of work and school. I managed to get my final exams online and a sick with pay leave. I wasn't motivated though.

Camila entered the room with a bottle of water and food.

" You need to eat" She said,

"  I don't have an appetite" She rested her head on my shoulder and rubbed my arm.

" I spoke to Saint Josiah a little while ago" I broke the silence and her eyes widened a little.

" I didn't tell him over the phone..." I added.

" If you don't feel strong enough to walk make his ass come here okay?" She eyed me.

" Ok.. How do you think he's going to react?" I asked

" It can honestly go a number of ways sweetie.." She sighed.

I know he would be hurt. It still taunts me. I did not want to do it but the doctor said that it was me or the baby. I've been eating sleeping pills ever since. I couldn't even look at my stomach.

" Go shower. I made you something to eat. You have to eat Ambrosine." Camilla demanded.

I got out of bed and handled my hygiene throwing on my onesie and heading downstairs.

" What's with all the groceries?" I asked in attempt to change the subject and take pity off of me.

" Child Thanksgiving is right around the corner and so is your birthday" Camilla said and she put groceries away.

" I don't even plan on celebrating my birthday." I said.

" Don't be in this house moping around, you better do something like dinner atleast." Camilla said.

"We'll see..." I mumbled

" Where's Chasity?" I asked.

" Work still she should be in about an hour from" she said.

I sighed and went to sit on the couch. I forced a few spoons of chicken soup down. The warmth of the soup felt good traveling down to my belly. It felt like something was in my stomach once again. My womb felt empty, cold and lonely. Camilla's soup wasn't going to change that but I knew the risk of taking pills without eating so I sucked it up and ate.

I dragged myself back upstairs shortly after only to fall asleep again.

Instead of preparing for one of the hardest conversations I have ever had. I decided to revisit sleep so that I could be greeted with darkness and temporary peace.