Stronger Than Pain

Chapter Twenty One

Annoyed as hell, I stormed into my room, tossing the paper tape angrily on my bed. Placing my hands behind my head, and throwing my head a bit backwards so my hands could hold it, I shut my eyes firmly letting out a muffled cry.

My heart began to pound crazily, each pound like a pestle hitting an empty mortar. The angry steams rushed out from my mouth and nostrils as I breathed in and out, trying so hard to control my temper.

But it wasn't working.

All my bones, muscles and flesh began to vibrate uncontrollably, forcing my head to spin erratically.

Was I losing it? Am I going to faint?

Forcing my eyes open, I staggered to the wall, resting my back on it while my two palms laced firmly on it for support.

My heart was gradually exploding, each part being removed piece by piece.

With each passing second, I was running out of air. I continued to pang, to breathe with my mouth wide open, yet my lungs remained starved. They were burning, forcing my chest to rise higher as though moving into my mouth.

My head felt totally empty as it spun the more. I was not only loosing air, I was loosing balance too, so I slowly slid down the wall, pushing my butt closer to it as it touched the cold tiled floor.

Still swallowing breaths, I raised my knees high, pushing them closer to me so that it touched my chest; and then lowered my face till it's buried inside it.

And without words, I let it all out. I screamed, pouring out the hurt, the pain.

Hot tears streamed down my face as I cried bitterly. The tears didn't take away my pain cos it still felt as though I was choking to death. I would cough and cry and cough again, but in all of these I was still struggling to breathe.

My whole body was still shaking, vibrating as though it was plugged in an electric socket. I dragged out my right hand slowly, watching as it shakes erratically. Scared, I withdrew it before sliding it to my black gown and letting it hold the helm firmly, even though it felt like the vibrations were dragging the cloth away.

I can't still seem to control them. It's becoming impossible to bring my body to stop shaking.

My chest moved up and down in a rough motion, while my shoulder shook helplessly as though I was dancing the popular 'atilogwu' dance.

Then the door flung open, letting in hurried rays of light forcefully.

I quickly buried my face deeper in my knee and muffled a scream!

"Go away!"

The more I spoke, the more I cried.

Silently, a cold gentle hand rested on my shoulder.

As it came in contact with my body, my head arched instantly to lean on it. It was automatic. I didn't do it voluntarily. I didn't know how that happened. All I know was that, that touch was soothing, calm and hopeful. It felt like I was protected, loved and covered. My aching soul was suddenly calm and my breaking heart, mended. It was magical.

"Ada m" She muttered.

It was mum.

I looked up to behold her worried face, begging me to stop crying. She was squatting very close to me and I hadn't even know. My sight was blurry and I was certain my eyes were as red as a burning fire.

Just then, my nostrils breathed in her aura, her scent, that perfume I'd always known her for. A strawberry fragrance, which was very soothing.

"Mum" I murmured leaning into her embrace.