The Reign Of Vause

When Piper broke my heart

(Alex's POV)

Flashback

I came back from Paris alone, heartbroken, confused and angry. Why?! Why?! Why?! Why?!
"WHY?!" I yelled into my now lifeless New York penthouse apartment with tears streaming down my face. The whole flight home I had held this in. I was the shell of who I once was. The confident Alex Vause was no more. I was completely broken. I was now virtually an orphan since I wanted nothing to do with the utter disappointment of a Dad and the person who I had, to my surprise, found was the person that I wanted to put a ring on a few years down the line, had left me. The two people I loved most in the world had both left me, my mom was dead and the love of my life had made it startlingly clear she didn't want me anymore or the life I gave her. Both had happened within two crippling days of each other. I felt so unloved and unwanted it was unbearable.
When she told me she couldn't be with me anymore, I was floored, I said things I didn't mean and she stormed out yelling she needed some space to think. That night when she came back, we slept at polar opposite sides of the bed. I kept turning around to look at her and every time I assumed she was asleep, I tried to touch her, even gently kiss her shoulder at times, try to make up. But she was having none of it. The next morning I woke up and she was gone, she came back with a one way flight back to the States.
In the time she was away, I had even tried to hide Piper's passport to stop her from leaving me in the hopes she would miss her flight back to America and be forced to talk things through with me so I could do my best to save the one relationship that meant everything to me. When she had made it clear that there was no hope for us, I gave in and told her where I had hidden it.

My eyes fixed on the hundreds of photos of myself and Piper absolutely everywhere. I lifted my favourite out of my bag, us kissing at the top of the Eiffel Tower, the one I had gotten framed for Piper this Valentine's Day which had happened just last week and had 'A+P' engraved onto the frame in hearts for her. My hand that was holding it and my whole body started to shake with hurt and anger, I wanted to throw it against the wall, all of them, I wanted to smash them all. I walked to the bedroom in a blind hurry and was greeted by a sight that just hurt me to the core.
Piper had taken EVERYTHING she owned from the drawers and closet and didn't even bother to close them as if she knew the sight of this would hurt me even more. I had already noted that she had left her key on the kitchen counter.
I was hoping that when I got back she wouldn't have thought to come here first and that I'd be waiting for her so I could pounce and plead her to talk to me. Even if I had to lock us both in the bathroom, get on my knees and beg her, tell her that she was NEVER a drug mule and that it was Fahri who had signed her on for that task where she had to carry drug money and Kubra wouldn't take no for an answer, no matter how many times I had begged him no. That I loved her more than anything and I would never ask her to do a drug run again, I would convince more kids to do it for me. Anything to have her back.
But she was gone.
"AAAAAAGGGGHH!" I screamed and threw the photograph in my hand onto the bed at full force. I wanted to smash them but I couldn't bring myself to. I loved those memories and I still loved Piper fucking Elizabeth fucking Chapman so much. Too much.
I went to the bed to check I hadn't broken the photograph and found a note from Piper on my pillow. I picked it up and read, well, quickly skimmed what she had to say for herself through my watery eyes and steamed up glasses. I was too hurt to read it properly.

"Alex .....drugs and power have stolen you..... I don't know if you love me anymore..... can't we just have love? Or both money and love? I guess not...... I know you probably don't believe me but I still love you and probably will for the rest of my life.......if you make the decision to leave Kubra you know where to find me..... if not.... goodbye Alex."

At this my legs gave way from underneath me and I collapsed at the foot of the bed crying my heart out and yelling at an imaginary Piper.
"YOU LIED TO ME! YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVED ME! YOU HAVE JUST LIED TO ME AGAIN SAYING YOU'LL LOVE ME FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! BULLSHIT PIPER! IF YOU LOVED ME YOU WOULD'VE TRIED TO TALK IT THROUGH AND WORK AT IT WITH ME LIKE I TRIED TO DO WITH YOU. YOU LEFT ME WHEN I JUST FOUND OUT MY MOM DIED! YOU DON'T LOVE ME AT ALL YOU BITCH! YOU'RE JUST LIKE THOSE HORRIBLE GIRLS WHO TORTURED ME MY WHOLE LIFE!"

I knew she wasn't like those girls, I didn't mean it, Piper was kind and sweet and beautiful inside and out but what she had done to me I couldn't come back from. Piper had become increasingly scared of my career but it never seemed to bother her before, maybe it built up inside her? I broke down completely on the floor and rocked back and forth clutching her note. I couldn't stop crying, my tears were relentless. After an hour of crying I took my cell from my pocket and tried to calm my voice. I called the number and put it to my ear.

"Hello Vause! How is Paris? Aren't you going to thank me for convincing Kubra to send you and your girlfriend alone to the city of love?"
"I don't fucking.... *sniffle* know Fahri! I'm in.... *sniffle* New York and.... *sniffle* no I'm fucking not."
"You're what?! Kubra told you that you needed to be in Paris!"
"Yeah well tell.... *sniffle* Kubra that my mom has just..... *sniffle* fucking died and that I've been.... *sniffle* fucking dumped."
"Jesus Alex are you okay?"
"I will be when you give me what I called you for. I need a lot of pick me ups. Fahri I need it. I need heroin, I'll even pay for it. Just give me what I NEED."
"Alex. Do you want me to come over and we can ta-"
"NO! Just get me fucking heroin. NOW FAHRI."
I yell and hang up throwing my phone across the room and go back to uncontrollably sobbing.

Not wanting to see or have to look at the photographs of Piper and I so happy, I got up and found a lone box in the closet that Piper had left from when she moved in. I grabbed it and a marker from the drawer in my nightstand. As much as I hated Piper at this moment, I loved those memories and what I hated more was that I was still deeply in love with her, I uncapped the marker and wrote "LOVE MEMORIES" on the box and went out to the main area of the apartment and swiftly swept every photograph into the box.