better now > sequel to neighbours. [HS]

twenty nine

The silence in the car created an atmosphere so tense that you could feel the air become too thick to swallow. My whole heart felt like it was on fire- there was no other way to explain the intense feeling of worry and guilt I was feeling right now as Harry watched me silently.

"I-" I started but was cut off.

"Can I be honest too? And you also won't get mad?" He suddenly spoke.

I nodded, not sure if he could even see me in the darkness. I leaned up and pressed the overhead lights on, which I regretted as soon as Harry's dark, intense stare greeted me in the light. I nodded at him and watched every one of his moves carefully.

He looked away and his fingers ran desperately through his hair and his lips pursed while he exhaled cautiously. When he finally looked back at me he pressed his lips together into a sad smile and nodded slightly. "I knew you were pregnant." He admitted.

Out of every single scenario I created in my head about telling Harry, this response was never apart of them.

I twisted in my seat and stared at him, my eyes searching for any indication on his face to show me he was kidding. He wasn't.

"What the hell do you mean you knew?" I yelled. He flinched back as my hands flew up on the air for exaggeration.

I actually had no words for him right now. Maybe this was another dream.

I reached forward and pinched his arm, he hissed and jumped back. "What was that for?" He yelled.

"I thought I was dreaming!" I explained.

"Idiot I'm supposed to pinch you, not the other way around!"

We continued to yell at each other for the next five minutes until it occurred to me that Harry just said he knew I was pregnant with his baby and still continued to leave me.

"You fucking left me while I was having your baby?" I yelled.

He froze and I noticed how his lips twitched a little. "Wait, you had it?" He said lowly.

"Yes- what? Why would you think I didn't?" I mimicked the lowness of his voice.

"Your mum told me you had an abortion." He rushed out. His eyes were wide and glossed over and I felt my chest tighten. My own mother went behind my back after I specifically asked her not to tell Harry. And worst of all, she had him believe I killed our baby. He probably still hasn't caught on that Annabel was his and maybe he didn't have to.

"My..my mother?" I asked, just to be sure.

He nodded quickly and for the millionth time, ran his fingers through his messy curls while I turned in my seat and looked straight ahead. His voice was drowned out as I sunk into deep thought and worry. As I leaned forward and rested my head in my hands I began to shake it. "No." I said quietly.

"Mae?" Harry called out. I ignored him and shook my head again. His hand quickly began to rub my back, usually a comforting gesture but I was so mad right now and I didn't know if I was mad at him or my mother, or myself. I had a lot of thinking to do.

I sat up quick, surprising him as he pulled his hand away and stared at me worryingly. "So you knew I was pregnant, thought I had an abortion, but you still didn't call or come see me to see if I was okay?" I cried.

He sat silently for a few seconds and he pulled his infamous Harry Styles look, a look that said "I'm innocent, you're crazy."

"You didn't have the abortion?" He asked warily.

"That's not the point!" I screamed at him. I lean forward into him and gripped his shoulders. "Harry you knew I was going through that and you still did nothing, what is wrong with you?"

His lip began to quiver and for a second I thought he was going to cry. His eyes were still glossed over and his cheeks looked flushed. So handsome yet so annoying. How?

He cupped my face and we watched each other blink until one of us plucked up the courage to say anything. I was waiting for an answer.

"I didn't think you'd want to see me. Mae I regret everything and if you don't know what by now then I don't know what to tell you." He mumbled.

I pushed his hands from my face and backed up a little, "This is news to me, Harry. I'm allowed to be angry with you right now." I explained. I brought my shaky hands to my cheeks to wipe away my tears. I really thought my life could be normal, I really thought...

"Is, uh.." He stuttered.

"Is Annabel yours?" I spat out.

He nodded silently and I laughed dryly.

"Harry you're so fucking stupid it hurts. She has your hair, your smile, your eyes. Your birthmark, even your stupid ass aloe Vera allergy which I pointed out to you multiple times." I sighed out. My head collapsed onto the head rest and I didn't dare catch his reaction to that.

I could hear his heavy breathing on my right side and quickly pulled the door handle to open the door.

"Where are you going?" He quickly asked.

I stepped out and looked up at him. "I'm getting air." I scowled.

A breather was needed. I couldn't wrap my head around what was happening and I expected it to be much more smooth sailing when I did tell Harry about Ana and this just wasn't the case. I breathed in and out quickly and screwed my eyes shut.

Harry knows Annabel is his child. Fine. I can deal with that, I was planning on telling him anyways.

Harry knowing I was pregnant because my own mother went behind my back? Not fine.

Harry knowing I was pregnant and still leaving? Not fine.

Harry thinking I was getting an abortion yet not bothering to talk me out of it? Not fine.

Harry finding a way to hurt me as much as he did seven years ago? Not fine.

I jolted up when I felt warm hands grab my shoulders and spin me around. "Not fine!" I yelled.

Harry pulled me into his chest and tried to shush my cries and I let him. I mean it was this or I could stand in El's driveway crying to myself like a freak.

I tried to hold my breath to avoid literally breaking down in front of him but after a few seconds of trying that I gave up and ugly cried against his chest. It must have went on like this for a solid five minutes until I felt Harry's body shake against mine and I looked up at him. His eyes were screwed shut and small tears were falling from the corners of his eyes.

"Are you crying?" I asked him. He shook his head no and squeezed me tighter, which was actually starting to hurt.

"Harry why were you going to let me have an abortion." I asked quietly.

"I-I didn't. I wasn't." He croaked out. My heart broke into a million pieces.

"Your mum said you had already gotten it the day I was going to drive to your apartment." He pulled away and I looked up at him. His eyes were an obvious shade of red from crying and his words calmed me a little. I was able to push the idea that he wanted me to have an abortion away.

"Maelynn I wanted to call you, drive to you, anything.. even years later, but I knew you hated me and I actually hated you too then for killing my baby." He explained.