better now > sequel to neighbours. [HS]

thirty one

El was the first to walk out of the room after Harry confessed his secret. I was close to walking too actually, but I wanted to hear his story.

He rubbed his hands along his legs nervously as I tapped my fingers against the table. "It's so hard to get El mad, but you've done it." I reminded him.

He nodded. "I know," He carelessly flung his keys across the table and dragged his fingers through his hair for the gazillionth time. He was so dramatic.

"So you paid for our daughter to be terminated?" I asked him, pursing my lips. I always wondered why my mother was so willing to hand me the money for the abortion.

"Don't say it like that." He pleaded.

I crossed my arms. "Well that's how it is," I scoffed. "Annabel- my absolute world! You just handed over a few grand and poof she was never going to exist!" I yelled at him.

"I'm sorry!  I was nineteen - I didn't know what to think or do," He stuttered. I stood up to walk out of the room but he stood up and grabbed my arm, giving me a pleading look.

"Mae, please. Please, please, please hear me out." He urged.

"Harry, I really don't think you understand how I'm feeling right now." I said softly. I finally made eye contact with him, and in him I was reminded of my child that was peacefully sitting outside minding her business and then him; who wanted her gone.

"Then tell me." He pushed. He ushered me back to my chair and pushed his one closer to me.

I ran a hand through my hair and scoffed as I thought, "I mean, you already know I'm mad." I told him. He nodded, yet still payed attention.

"I'm disappointed is all. I didn't think you were capable of further hurting me but you tried to. I'm actually not mad that you paid for the abortion because I was the one who asked for it; I'm mad you never came to me to say something." I explained.

"I wanted to, badly, but I knew if I did then I wouldn't let you get the abortion." He rushed out. "I still loved you."

I actually laughed at this. I whipped my hand back from his and shook my head. "You don't get to do that." I said.

He looked at me confused for a few seconds as his body stiffened up. "Do what?"

"That," I motioned to his face. "You don't get to tell me you loved me back then when you were in a whole ass relationship with someone else Harry. You actually loved neither of us; you loved yourself." I gritted my teeth and let my pointer finger rest on his chest. "If there's a lesson I learned through all of that, it's that you loved yourself far more than you loved either of us because if you truly loved one of us, you would have put us first and not your own feelings. So no, you don't get to go off and say you still loved me, whilst loving Aria. Because that's a lie." I finished.

His eyes shut for a moment and he nodded slowly, I was just waiting for the rest of his bullshit to roll out.

He took my hand and I know I should have taken it away but I mean, I was up in my feelings right now, it felt nice.

"You're right." He mumbled. "I didn't love either of you. I didn't even love myself. I was in love with the idea of love and having someone there for me and that's a lesson I've learned." He admitted.

I felt relieved as he spoke. I rather him tell me facts straight up than lie to my face. He knows this.

"I love people now though. I love Noah, and I love Annabel. I've loved Annabel for two years. My daughter or not I counted her as mine and well, she is now, so I'm going to continue to love her." He smiled softly.

I was balling. It was as if my heart was trapped under a rock and it just lifted, making me feel relieved and weightless. I pulled him into a hug and nodded against his warm shoulder. "Thank you." I told him.

"Don't thank me, I should be thanking you." He laughed.

I pulled back and tilted my head slightly, "Why?"

"Well, you gave me a daughter. That's just one reason." He shrugged. He fumbled with his hands, a nervous habit of his, and I just nodded.

We were okay, everything was okay.