better now > sequel to neighbours. [HS]

Fifty Seven

six months later

"Can you turn that down?" Harry grumbled. He  reached over to the volume button and lowered the music right down. The car fell silent and the usual protests of Ana were nowhere to be heard. I turned my head and offered a sympathetic smile to her which she returned.

The last couple of months were absolute hell and spent in complete sadness. Each of us had a constant pain lingering over us everyday and while some were good at putting a fake smile on and getting on with things, others were not. Others meaning Harry.

Please don't get me wrong, in no way did I blame him for it, but he was so miserable. No joy was allowed to enter his bubble. For Ana's eight birthday, he spent the day in bed and told her to leave the room when she tried to bring him some cake.

When she won an award in school for her work he gave her ten pounds and told her to get something nice. Their relationship was quickly weakening day by day and she began not wanting to be around him.

As for Harry and I, I don't think you could actually call it a relationship anymore. We discussed small things like our family and work but that was it, he didn't want to hear any more. I tried to put on a smile for Ana but she saw through it all. She heard our arguments at night and she noticed our distance.

Without Noah, Harry wasn't Harry anymore.

Aria came over often and they would visit his grave together. Ana and I visited every day after school too, which was where we were heading right now except Harry decided to come with.

"Dad, can we stop at the gates so I can pick Noah some flowers?" Ana asked him. She was hesitant and I nervously watched him from the side. He gently nodded and pulled over to the side.

Ana hopped out and ran to the grass to pick some red poppy's that grew wildly along the wall and then quickly got back into the car. I crossed my legs and folded my arms as the atmosphere felt extremely uncomfortable as we parked the car.

"They're lovely," I smiled at Annabel and took her hand in mine as we walked along the gravel. The crunch of our feet was the only noise we made as we approached Noah's grave.

Ana decided to run ahead with her flowers, like she usually does and Harry was a little shocked at her sudden movements and frowned but continued to walk. I tried to take his hand and give him a little comfort but he pulled away and sighed heavily.

"I'm just trying to be here for you." I told him.

"I don't need you to be," he snapped back.

"Of course you don't." I mumbled. "Never did."

As I sped up to greet Ana, I couldn't ignore the flicker of anger that lit up inside me. My eyes fell upon the cross dug into the floor with his name scrolled across it, his date of birth and the day he died. While Ana spoke to her brother I zoned in and out of thought.

What was needed during this awful time was unity and Harry showed none of that. We were all hurting, so much, yet he only focused on himself and how he coped with this. Ana and I needed Harry and we still do, he was once a man that gave us both comfort and security and during the times we need him the most he has detached completely.

Surely he felt lonely too? I tried and tried and still try to connect with him, talk about things, discuss how we're doing but he's so angry inside that he refuses to interact. I am aware grief hits people differently, and I'm trying to work with it but I can't do this any longer.