Life as I know it

Yeah..

So once at camp we somehow started talking about kissing so I told him: I haven't had my first kiss yet.

Then after we broke up, I'm not sure how it came up but he starting saying he was going to kiss me. I told him it wouldn't be right, since we weren't together anymore. But he was persistent.

He said something about how he thought it'd be a good kiss. He got aggravated, I didn't want my first kiss to be with him when he was acting the way he was. And yes I admit that I wanted him to be the first, I knew he wouldnt even go through with it.

The next day he left for a cruise and he couldn't text me for a week.

When he came back, I asked him if he remembered that conversation, he just straight out said that it wasn't going to happen anymore. As if something had happened on the cruise that just changed his mind.

I was hurt yeah, but I knew he'd somehow realize that I'm just not worth it.

I guess its just really all my fault. I thought that somehow things would work with him, unlike with all the others.

I just wish I could turn back time and go and stop him from doing it so soon. We'd still had all summer. Maybe one day, I'll invent a time machine, and go back to the day I lost him, and change it.