Swan Lake || Luke Hemmings AU

29. The Best Thing

(c) - Isobel (@BellaVanella)

The weekend happened so fast; it just felt like hours. George, Elle and I spent the whole time with each other (but sometimes, Elle ditches us because she can't stay away from her Clifford boy). It was as if George avoiding us never even happened.

They all tried to get my mind off of Luke. I mean they said, lately, I've been bipolar. One minute, I'm not thinking about him. The next, I'm crying my eyes out because I imagined what I could've done to stop him from going to Susan.

Every time I catch a glimpse of Luke, I immediately turn the other way to avoid contact. I'm not ready to face him yet. He lost me and I don't even know if it's right to go back to him. If I did, what's the guarantee that he won't hurt me again?

I sighed and got up to get ready for Breakfast. Elle, Ems and Velvet were still asleep so I moved to the bathroom, with my stuff, as silently as possible.

"The greatest act of faith some days," I began muttering an Amy Gatliff quote to myself. "is to simply get up and face the day." I head to the shower and after bathing, I changed into my clothes.

I left the cabin afterward and began making my way to George's cabin. As I caught sight of the place, I saw that there was a blonde boy sitting at the staircase of the cabin and he was the last person I wanted to see.

He stood up once he saw me and I sighed, turning away. I'll just go back to my cabin and meet up with George in the cafeteria. I don't want to see Luke right now. I just want some peace of mind and my friends.

"Janey, come on!" Luke called out. "You can't avoid me forever." I looked at him and scoffed. "Yes I can," I yelled at him from a distance. "and I will." I started to walk as far away as possible, but Luke was fast. He caught up with me and spun me around, wrapping his arms around the small of my back.

"I'll keep fighting for you," he said as I turned to look at my shoes. "I won't give up on us, so please don't." I shook my head. "I'm sorry," I forced myself to look hime. "I'm sorry Luke, but no." He lifted my chin up and we were now in head-to-head, nose-to-nose contact.

"I love you," he blurted out. "Don't," I told him, pulling away. "Don't say something you don't mean." Luke sighed. "I mean it. I love you," he insisted. "And I know you feel the same way. You have to."

I didn't meet his eye, because he was telling the truth. Yes, he screwed up big time with the Susan thing. But that didn't make me love him any less at all. I love him so much. It's my strength and my weakness. If I tell him this, he'll have power over me and who knows, hell will break loose all over again. I need to stop.

"L-let me go," I told him. Luke shook his head, tears falling down his cheeks. "Look me in the eye and tell me that you don't love me," he said. "And I'll let you go." There was silence. I couldn't. I love him, and it would just make me look more pathetic denying it.

"I thought so," Luke smiled through his tears. "Please, Jane. I really am sorry. Please give me another chance.We can make it through this. You and I together. I love you and I won't hurt you again." I wiped his tears. One thing I can't stand, seeing Luke cry.

Before I could start talking, Luke pulled me closer and pressed his lips against mine. I was shocked by his actions and I was frozen, not kissing back at all. Luke, however, bit my lip and I gasped. He shoved his tongue inside my mouth and started exploring.

Yes, Luke's lips were so addictive. It almost made me forget that he cheated on me, but I've got a sensible subconscience. He was a drug, he was my drug, I thought. He'll make you feel good. You'll relapse, and then he'll break you. It took me every ounce in my body to push him off and slap him in the face.

"Let me go," I told him sternly and the next few words I was going to say was my death. "I-I don't love you. At all. You betrayed me and I will never, ever forgive you for it. So if I were you, Luke, just get the fuck out of my way." Luke seemed shock at my words.

I shook my head and took advantage of this moment. I ran away from him, back to my cabin. I slammed the door and leaned against it. I looked around and saw that Elle, Ems and Velvet were looking at me with concern. That's when I started crying.

Elle approached me with caution and she pulled me in a hug. "Get George," I heard Elle whisper to Ems and Velvet. Ems and Velvet left the room, leaving me and her. "Are you okay?" she asked me.

I shook my head. "I'm not okay," I told her. "And I don't know if I'll ever be..."

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

Elle, Michael, George and I sat at the very back during the Self-Control session. I already told George about what happened and he was apologizing for not being aware that Luke was outside his cabin. I told him it was no big deal.

"The boy needs to stop," George remarked. "I could never trust a cheater. He cheated once, what's the guarantee that he won't do it again." I nodded at him. "That's what I told him too," I told them. "I don't want to get hurt again."

"It's good that you're playing safe, Jane," Michael said. "But, honestly, I feel bad for Luke too." I shot him a questioning look. "Keep going with your thoughts, Mikey," Elle said. Michael nodded. "I'm not siding with anyone here," he pointed out. "But Luke's going through hell right now."

"He hasn't been sleeping properly, he hasn't been eating," Michael went on. "All he does is cry and hug that poems book that you gave him on his Birthday." George, Elle and I were silent. "He really regrets it, Jane," Michael said. "I could tell."

"He's beating himself up for it," Michael added. "You're not the only one hurting here, Jane. He is too. If he could go back in time, he would. He keeps saying he lost the best thing that's ever happened to him." The best thing that's ever happened to him, my mind repeated. I didn't know how to respond to that.

George scoffed. "How does that justify cheating on Jane?" he snapped. Michael sighed. "George, I'll give you a lecture on drunk boys since, clearly, for a guy you've never been drunk before," he said. "When guys drink, we sort of lose some consent. We couldn't think straight. Luke wasn't."

"I know it seems like a lame excuse," Michael told me. "Drunk cheating, yeah, I think it's bull. He still had some sense in him but he wasn't thinking straight. If he really was sober enough, I know he wouldn't do it. No matter how crazy his hormones were."

I just looked at Michael helplessly. He's telling me that I'm not the only one hurting, so is Luke. I haven't thought of it that way. I thought I was the only one dying inside so now, I don't know what to think. Damn it, I feel so bipolar.

"You're the one still calling the shots, Jane," Michael said. "But know this, he really loves you. Everyone can see that. It's really your decision now, what to do with him."

* terrible chapter. I'm sorry :(