Swan Lake || Luke Hemmings AU

48. One Last

(c) - isobel (@bellavanella)

George Sebastian Johnson

December 11, 1996 - August 9, 2015

Son, Brother, Friend

"So," I spoke to George's inanimate memorial tree. "I'm leaving for Amsterdam in a few hours. My bags are packed and my parents are just loading my luggage and talking to Director Daze."

"I don't want to cry anymore, George," I said. "But I'm going to miss you a lot, and Elle too. And Michael and Ashton and Calum, and Luke. Everyone basically."

"But this is what you would want for me, right?" I spoke up. "So me getting better isn't just for me, but for you too. I will never forget you, brother. You are my Best Friend. I hope you're happy now, wherever you are."

I smiled at the tree then took out a folded piece of paper from my pocket. I kissrf it then set it under the tree and stood away. It was how I felt about leaving, but it was also a sense of relief.

Letting Him Go

There is a particular kind of suffering to be

experienced when you love something greater

than yourself. A tender sacrifice.

Like the pained silence felt in the lost song of a

mermaid; or the bent and broken feet of a

dancing ballerina. It is in every considered step

I am taking in the opposite direction of you.

- Lang Leav

I let out a sigh and began walking away, towards the gate area where my parents and other people were waiting. I made my way towards them, and Elle ran and gave me a hug. Her eyes were red and puffy again.

"Hey," I cooed, smiling at her. "No more tears remember? Besides, you'll visit me in Amsterdam during your summers." Elle shook her head. "I-I just can't believe this is happening," she sobbed. "I'm just going to miss you a lot."

"But we'll skype," I told her. "Keep in-touch, whatever. Besides, you and Michael still have a wedding right? I wouldn't miss that for the world." Elle laughed and hugged me. "Sisters," she whispered. "Sisters," I repeated and pulled away.

I turned to Michael who was beside Elle. "Take care of my sister," I told him. He nodded. "Always," he said. "And remember, you're already appointed godmother of baby Clifford." I chuckled and hugged him. "Stay cool, Mike," I said. "And be there for Elle all the time."

I pulled away and moved to the next person, Calum. "You and Elle better stop bickering," I told him. "You're both awesome and you'll always be family. Take care of Ems too." Calum nodded and hugged me.

"You're like a brother I never had," I went to Ashton. "And you're like a sister to me," Ashton smiled. "You'll do amazing things, Janey. I know you will. I believe in you so you should believe in yourself too." I nodded and hugged Ash. "I will."

After Ashton, I gave Ems and Velvet hugs. "I'm going to miss you girls so much," I said in our hug. "You two stay wise and pretty, and kick Ashton and Calum's butts if they piss you off." They both laughed and nodded.

I looked around and frowned when I didn't find the person I wanted to see the most. "Where's Luke?" I asked them. They all gave me sad smiles and shook their heads. "Alright," I told them. "This is good-"

"WAIT!" we heard someone yell. I turned to see Luke running towards me. He started panting as he reached us. "I-I," he breathed out. "You just needed to know before you go."

I let Luke catch his breath since it seemed like he ran for his life. He managed to calm down a little while later and he stood up straight, looking me in the eye.

"What do I need to know?" I asked him. "That I regret everything," he said. "And that I don't think I can go on without you. Jane, I am and I will always be in-love with you."

I couldn't cry anymore, but I felt my eyes go watery. "Please," Luke sniffled. "Please stay and be with me. We can finish the summer and we'll fix our relationship. Please give me one last chance."

I turned around and saw that my parents were still loading my things into the car and that the others were just looking at me and Luke.

My heart was desperately crying for me to give Luke one last chance, but my mind knew that I wasn't ready yet. I had to fix myself, before I let anyone in. I don't want to tear myself apart again if I become reckless.

So against my heart's desires, I shook my head and Luke looked at me with teary eyes. "Luke," I spoke up. "I forgive you, I do.." He nodded. "But," I sighed. "I can't be with you right now."

Luke tried to speak but I put my finger against his lips. "I have to fix myself first," I told him. "Because I can't let you love me when I can't even love myself. This is the right thing to do, I'm sorry but let me go."

Luke shook his head vigorously as tears fell down his cheeks. I wiped them away quickly. "Luke, please," I breathed out. "Let me go, so I can be who I am."

"If time will, will it someday," I continued. "Maybe we'll see each other again. In a few years, when we're better people, we can be together." Luke smiled through his tears. "But right now," I added. "It's a no. Please just let me go."

I closed my eyes and placed my hand against his chest. "For what it's worth though," I spoke up. "I will always love you, Luke Robert Hemmings."

Luke broke down in sobs and I wrapped him in a hug, kissing his forehead. He hugged me tighter and I did the same with all my strength. I took in all of him because this might be the last time I will ever see him.

"Jane!" I heard Mom call out. "Come on. Time to go. We don't want to be late for our flight." I nodded at them and turned to Luke once more. "Goodbye, Luke," I said, pecking him on the lips, then walking to my parents.

I opened the door of the backseat and gave my friends one last glance. I took in all of their faces, remembering this moment. This was the hardest I've ever encountered. This was goodbye.

I smiled at them all and gave them one last wave. I looked at Luke and blew him a kiss which he caught and placed in his heart. I nodded, before going inside the car.

Dad started the engine and began to drive away. I looked at the window from the backseat, watching as they grew smaller from the distance. I sighed and sat back down.

That was it. I was done.