Swan Lake || Luke Hemmings AU

44. Relapse

(c) - isobel (@bellavanella)

"Hey Jane," Ashton was surprised at my sudden appearance in their cabin. "What brings you here?" I shrugged. "Is Luke around?" I asked. Ashton shook his head. "He says he needs a getaway," he answered. "I don't know what he meant."

I do, I thought. It was his cottage, our cottage, but it didn't seem like ours anymore. It was all his now, since we broke up. I missed that place. Luke and I made so many memories there, but it was all gone now.

"Good," I said. "Can I come inside? I just want to leave the cabin for a while." Ashton smiled and nodded. "Come on in," he said, opening the door wider.

I followed Ashton inside and we both sat on his bed. Ashton was fiddling with his hands and I just stared at the floor. I was starting to question why I was even here in the 1st place.

"You look pale," Ashton pointed out warily and I just shrugged. "Yeah," I told him. "I haven't been resiting that much so yeah." Ashton nodded and we were both quiet.

"So," Ashton broke the silence. "How are you?" I just looked at him with a blank expression. "Is that really a question?" I asked him. Ashton sighed and shook his head. "I know you're hurting," he said. "It sucks to lose someone who means a lot to you."

"It really does," I affirmed. "Losing someone seems to have the tendency to break us in half." Ashton nodded, clearly unsure of what to say. "Have you ever felt loss, Ash?" I asked. 

"Yeah," he answered. "I lost my Dad when I was just a kid. I don't remember much, just crying and growing up without him." I frowned and touched his hand.

"I'm sorry," I told him. "I shouldn't have brought it up. I'm so stupid." Ashton shook his head. "It's okay, Jane," he said. "It happened a really long time ago. I'm fine now." Silence commenced then.

"Can I use your bathroom?" I blurted out randomly. "I just need to do my business." Ashton laughed and nodded. "Yeah," he said. "Sure. But I apologize in advance, me and the lads are messy."

I nodded and made my way to the bathroom. I did my business as told, but I didn't stop there. I looked around there bathroom which, Ashton was right, totally messy.

Their shampoo bottles, toothbrushes, soap, razor, hair gel, whatever products they used were scattered on the floor. I picked them up and tried to make them all presentable. When it looked decent, I walked out.

"Sorry," I said. "But you are right. Your bathroom is damn messy." Ashton laughed. "I told you so," he said. We were both silent again then, "Jane," Ashton spoke up. I looked at him. "I really am sorry for your loss. We know George was your best mate."

"I am too," I mustered out. "I'm sorry that he's gone, but we can't do anything about that now. He chose this and we couldn't do anything about it."

Ashton nodded. "I'm sorry about Luke too," he said. I looked at him in disbelief. "Luke told us what happened and he's grieving over it." I rolled my eyes.

"Whatever, Ash," I told him. "Luke has no right to grieve. He didn't lose anything. He's got Susan, isn't he supposed to be rejoicing?"

"He did lose, Jane," Ashton said. "He lost you." I was surprised to hear that from Ashton. "Luke seems so down," he added. "I know what he did was wrong, but the love you guys have... No one can ever compare to that."