Ben Hardy Imagines

Where have you been? - Roger Taylor

REQUESTED

WARNING: This may be triggering to some.

I sigh in annoyance as I look at the time for what feels like the 100th time that night. It's 1 am and Roger still isn't home. Where the hell is he? He was supposed to back by 10, and the longer I sit here, the angrier I get. This has been happening way more frequently than what I want it to. I mean, he's always out late, missing dinner which I spend ages making for him and he always seems to arrive home drunk. I would be fine with it if it didn't happen so often, but it's practically happening every single night. A part of me is really worried about what is happening to him, but right now I am so angry, he'll be lucky if I don't throw something at him when he does come home.

A sound comes from the front door and I sit up straight in my seat as Roger staggers in. I see it's another night where he is highly intoxicated. The door slams shut behind him, and he flinches, shushing it before his eyes finally land on me.

"Y/N, sweetheart, what are you doing up? Shouldn't you be in bed?" His words are slurred and he tries to stand up straight as if he's trying to act like he's not drunk.

"Yes, I should be, and so should you." I say in a cold voice as I cross my arms over my chest.

"Well then, lets go to bed." He starts staggering towards the bedroom but I hold out my arm to stop him, standing up in front of him.

"No, I'm going to bed, I've made up the couch for you."

"What? Y/N, come on. Don't be like that."

"Good night, Roger. We'll talk in the morning when you're sober."

*******

But it's 2 pm when Roger is finally awake enough to talk. I got up to notice that he'd had one of his famous tantrums last night as ornaments and vases lay broken on the floor, but he seems calm down now. I sit down in front of him on the coffee table, but he refuses to look at me, instead looking down at his hands.

"Look, Roger. What you are doing, the constant drinking and staying out late, it needs to stop or the very least slow the fuck down. I'm worried about you, Rog." I lean forward to take his hands in mine, making him glance up at me, but quickly reverting his gaze back to his lap.

"This isn't like you to be doing this. Sure, you'd go out and party at least once a week, but you never did it as often as you are right now. I hardly ever see you anymore, and when I do, you're always drunk or hungover. Something's wrong. Please tell me, because I can't help you if you don't let me know what's going on in that head of yours." Roger takes his hands out of mine and starts playing with the ring on his finger, occasionally running a hand through his hair.

"Why haven't you jumped to the conclusion that I'm cheating on you? I'm not, but isn't that what people usually think when their loved ones constantly stay out late?" That was not what I expected him to say at all. It takes me a moment to regain my thoughts enough to answer.

"Some people do, but I love and trust you enough to believe you wouldn't do that to me. I know you love me as much as I love you."

"I do, that seems to be the only positive thing in my life right now." He looks up at me, sadness in his eyes which makes my heart hurt just seeing this.

"What's that supposed to mean, Roger?" I ask calmly.

"It means that lately I haven't been feeling like myself. Everything is just starting to close in on me, like the constant eyes on me from the media just waiting for their moment to attack us, the kids moving out, and now the news about Freddie on top of that. It's all changing and I can't seem to do anything to help it. It's just coming to be too much at times."

"And that's why you've been drinking a lot more."

"Yeah. It just helps to make my mind stop, even if it is for a moment. I'm sorry for putting you through all of this. You don't deserve it."

"Hey." I stand up and move my way towards him and he looks up at me as I straddle his hips before placing a kiss on his lips. "I'm your wife, I'm supposed to go through all this with you. I want to help you Roger, any way I can, but only if you start helping yourself. What's happening to Freddie, it is sad, but the best thing you can do, the best thing we can all do is be there for him and support him. You can get through this, Roger. Even if it may not seem like it now."

Roger wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me closer to him and he places another loving kiss to my lips.

"I know I'll get through it if your with me."

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