alone

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Cheryl's POV
"Toni what's going on?" I ask
"Leave me alone, leave me alone," she says
"Baby, come here," I say
"No cheryl I don't want the babies either!" She screams
She storms out and I look at reggie.
"What's going on?" He asks
I scour my brain for what could've happened.
"Post partum depression maybe?"
"She also quit the team,"
"She is insane," I sigh "can you watch these two?"
"What if Tony starts crying?"
"He's probably hungry and neither of us can help that because he needs Toni's boobs," I say "try and keep him occupied- call Liz he really likes her,"
He nods and I run after Toni.
"Babe can we talk please?" I ask
"No, I shouldn't have brought a kid into this worlds it's not safe, I wasn't ready and now I have to leave. My mom did the same thing I can go- they don't like me anyways,"
"Baby they both love you," I say
"No they always want you, I don't deserve them anyways it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter,"
"What's wrong? What happened toni?"
"RJ doesn't like me and I made everyone's life hell. It's better that I never come back- it's better that I go, they'll have a better chance,"
"Tones, what about me?"
"You'll have an easier life too," she says getting in the car
I stand in front of the car and cross my arms.
"Cheryl move," She says
"What are you gunna do?" I ask "you love me Toni,"
"I just need to leave," she cries "please Cheryl, let me leave,"
She puts her forehead on the wheel and starts sobbing.
"I wanna leave Cheryl. I don't wanna be here. I don't wanna ruin lives. I wanna, I wanna, I wanna die!" She screams "I WANT TO DIE,"
"Tones please don't say that," I plead "please baby,"
She reverses over the curb and leaves me alone in the parking lot.
I run back inside.
"Where'd She go?" He asks
"I don't know.. I'm going to have to deal with it, can you.."
"Just call me when you find her, we got these two,"
I nod and run home. The car isn't in the driveway but I go inside and all of Toni's stuff and a suitcase is gone.
It's definitely post partum depression I feel so bad for her.
After Lexi turned one month old I wanted to divorce T because I was so alone.
I check her location on her phone and run towards it.
The old Riverdale fields?
I walk in and look around.
At first it looks like she's not here but then I see her hair and she's laying down in between the bleachers like we did when I was scared to sleep at home.
"Toni, are you ready to talk?" I ask
She continues crying and shakes her head.
I sit on the side of the step and prop her head up on my lap.
"Then I'm gunna sit here and I'll wait until you are okay?"
She nods and quietly sobs for a while.
"What's wrong with me?" She asks
"It's called post partum depression, sometimes new moms can't connect the way they want to, it's okay Toni. You'll be okay,"
"RJ doesn't like me,"
"RJ loves you babe," I say kissing the top of her head
"His brother in law said he didn't and he didn't deny it,"
"Well baby, I think he might have been overwhelmed and we need to talk about everything more, but our little boy is very very hungry,"
She nods and dries her tears.
"I'll drive," I say
I drive slowly to Pops.
"Okay are you going to be okay?"
She nods and we get out of the car
"Hey guys,"
"Mama, Reggee got mwilkshwakes," Lexi says
"Is that right baby? That's so cool!"
I pick the crying Tony up and hand him to Toni.
"Cher what am I supposed to.."
"Toni, you've been breastfeeding for only a month," I say calmly "you can do that, here's a blanket,"
Tony continues to cry and Tones just sits there looking at him.
"Tones please, he needs to eat,"
"What he can't eat by himself yet? He needs to grow up,"
"Wow I love mood swings just as much as everyone- but your child needs to eat Antoinette,"
"Fine," she snaps
She covers herself and breast feeds him.
"He's done," she snaps
She hands me him to burp and RJ and Liv walk in.
"Oh look who it is," she hisses
"Toni you really need to stop that please," I say "Lexi doesn't like that tone,"
"And I'm supposed to care,"
"Alrighty babe that's enough please and thank you,"
"So RJ can hate me cause I'm gay and I can't be moody because of Lexi, and Tony gets to suck my boobs whenever he wants and I have to listen to you and I don't get to be a little annoyed? Got it, you people can control my life,"
"Jesus Christ," I mutter
I look at her
Be patient Cheryl. She's going through a lot.
"Liz, Liv, would you mind taking Tony Junior and Lexi to a different table in case Tones goes on another episode while we figure this out?"
"Of course Cher," Liv says picking Tony up
Both kids go with them.
"Toni, I never hated you because you were bisexual," RJ says sitting down "I never hated you at all,"
Toni looks at her lap and doesn't reply.
"Baby can you please listen to what RJ is saying?"
"But he said," is all she says
"He was talking about when he came to visit us right after we met Cheryl. A bunch of guys, including me were under the impression that you were single and straight. A bunch of people said they would've dated you and I agreed. Toni you were a very pretty girl, you were shy but nice and funny all the guys liked you on the team. I said I would have dated you, but I also was dating Liv anyways and would've had no chance- I never said I hated you because you were gay, some of the boys said they hated that you WERE gay,"
"Now I'm uncomfortable,"
"Reggie told Sawyer she was dating someone don't worry Blossom," he says "plus we all knew we had no chance,"
"But I know your life is hell, because of me, I knew I knew I know- everything that happened is because of me and I'm going to do the same thing to the kids and I just wanna leave,"
"What do you mean my life hell?"
She tilts her head and raises her eyebrows.
"I have no clue what you're talking about,"
"Reginald scat," she says
Reggie goes over to the girls.
"I know what happened to Douglas," she says
"How? Cheryl?" He asks
"She was breaking up with me because she knew I was lying,"
They talk for a while more before Toni apologizes
I get the kids and Lexi cheers right up when she sees Toni.
"Mama Okay?" Lexi asks standing on Toni's legs
"Mama's getting better baby,"
"Mama baw?"
"Sure baby, lets go home and play with the ball,"
She kisses her cheek and smiles at me.
"I'm sorry baby," she says to me
"We need to talk, but it's okay Tones. We'll get you better,"

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