Red Dead Damnation (Van der Linde gang x Male Reader)

Part. 59

It's been a while since I've written. The last time I did was right before the bank robbery...I almost ripped that page out. Everything's gone crazy...everyone is terrified. Everyone's so paranoid that the law is gonna show up, they can barely function. Some people here told me that Miss O'Shea even ran off because she was so afraid. They keep asking me what we're gonna do. They have so many questions...and I don't have those answers. It's been hard on everyone...especially Arthur and Dutch. Dutch is under so much pressure, I think I heard him talking to himself last night when we escape he's gonna need help. And Arthur...well I don't even know what's wrong with him...the man who taught me loyalty is everything is now doubting. Where did we go so wrong?

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(F/N)'s boots squished as he walked up to the two graves in the swamp, he couldn't stand to look at the names on the headstones. He didn't need to, he knew who was there, he took a shaky breath, and walked over to the one on the left, "Hey Hosea..."

(F/N) licked his lips, he looked at his old boots, he had been dreading this conversation, but he owed them this, "I...I made it out okay. I, uh...I just wanted to tell you..."

The young gun took another shaky breath, as he collected himself, he was out in the middle of nowhere, right next to the only tree in the swamp, "I know Arthur was my teacher, and he's like a father to me. But you...you were the one giving me advice and helped me learn how to find unusual solutions to problems. Whether it was as my father Melvin, or my French uncle...I loved being your partner in crime you were always the best of them all. You helped make me who I am, and it all started when you held me at gunpoint all those years ago...Thank you."

(F/N) held back his emotion, he wished he had something to lay down on his grave, but all he could do was move on to Lenny. He nodded at Hosea and walked over to his best friend.

He somehow managed a weak smile as he looked at Lenny's grave, but his eyes were truly sad, "You saved my life...I never really got to thank you."

(F/N) opened his satchel and started looking for something, the grave didn't respond, "It would have been great to make it to the end together. To start farming mangos in Tahiti. But...that's life."

(F/N) shut his eyes as he pulled out some whiskey, he opened the bottle, he took a sniff of it the taste was intoxicating, "We never did get to have that drink, huh?"

He took a swig, it burned a lot more than it should have, as he swallowed the liquid he launched into another coughing fit, he somehow managed to keep the liquor down. (F/N) took a deep breath and collected himself, he poured the liquid onto Lenny's grave, " I hope, wherever you are you can enjoy it."

(F/N) sighed, as he slowly accepted the situation, "You were my best friend. I wish that I could be in the ground and you could be the one standing over me."

(F/N) corked the bottle and put it back in his satchel, he turned to see if anyone was around, he muttered, "But that's not how things are."

When he saw no one was around, the gunslinger took out his cattleman and checked to see if there were bullets inside, there were six shots left. He held the revolver in his hand for a while and then looked at Lenny's grave, then he at Hosea, "I don't know what we're gonna do without you...we needed both of you."

(F/N) pulled the hammer back on the revolver, he looked ahead, it was such a beautiful spot. "I don't know what to do anymore. I have faith in Dutch...but I keep doing worse and worse things. And I don't know why. I keep telling myself it's for the family, but now I ain't so sure. Dutch saying this is who I am...that makes me even more scared." He shook his head, his mind was buzzing with activity and his manic thoughts, he looked down at the gun in his hands and slowly pushed the hammer back in place, he had to keep moving.