run over - ruel vandijk

• "you can smile?" •

ruel starts driving and i shift towards the window and stare out looking at the starless sky.
i am so tired, i could fall asleep right-

"so, where am i taking you?"
ruel says kindly. snapping me out of my thoughts.

i give him my address and he puts it up on his google maps.

"wow, you're pretty far away from your house, you sure that's it?" he exclaims  pointing to his phone.

"45 minute drive..." i read aloud. i didn't think i ran that far. i look at the picture of the house that shows up, "yeah, that's my house."

great. i think, i have to be in a car for 45 minuets with someone i literally just met 5 minutes ago.

"so..." he pauses trying to remember my name, "...y/n, why where you sitting on the middle of the road...crying, 45 minutes away from your house?"

i sigh and slump back in the seat, "it's non of your business..."

he laughs coldly, "yeah, i think it is, i almost ran you over. i want to know why you just stayed on the road, i could've killed you."

"probably be better if you did." i mutter.

"y/n!" he yells at me.

"sorry," i choke on my words, "okay...i'm just incredibly overwhelmed and stressed about this current situation, i shouldn't of left my house, i needed a break from the world, so i went for a walk, and then these memories just came flooding back and i wanted to get rid of them, and forget them, but they never left, so i just ran and ran until i couldn't anymore. then that's when i saw your car and thought i could finally be gone from this place... i guess i kinda wished you did run me over..."

a tear rolled down my cheek.

ruel looks at me, then back at the empty, dark, road, "woah, sorry. you didn't have to tell me everything, i was just worried about you...your parents, what they would be thinking right now if they know you're gone."

"yeah.." i say, "they must be wondering where i am..."

i hope they are.
i hope my real parents are looking for me.
i hope they think about me.
i hope they know i am still alive.
i hope i'll see them one day.
and i hope they realise how much physical and emotional pain they put me in for leaving me with my stupid foster parents.
i hope they care.

we stayed quiet most of the time, ruel occasionally asking me some questions, where my answers would all mostly be lies.

i realised then and there that i am so bad with people.
i hate talking to people.
i'm so not social.
oh gosh, i'm going to die when i go to school.

"ah, is this it?" ruel pulls up into my driveway.

"yes, thank you so much for the ride, i really appreciate it."

we hop out of ruels car and he walks me to my door. my outside light makes all ruels features clear. he has light brown hair that is parted in the middle and it falls slightly over his eyes. he also has light brown eyes, holy crap, they are the most beautiful eyes i've ever seen.

"well, i hope whatever you're going through, that you work it out, and that it goes well." ruel says softly.

"thank you so much, honestly, i would probably still be on the road if it wasn't for you." i smile a little.

"you can smile?" he laughs slightly, filling my whole body with warmth, "you should smile more often, it looks good on you." he winks at me and walks back to his car.
the engine starts and ruel waves at me before driving away.

i open my door and close it quietly.
i look at the clock on the wall, it was 3:55 am. i sigh and walk up the stairs and into my room.
i plop myself onto my bed and stare at the ceiling, thinking about what had happened since i've last been here.

and for the first time in two years, i found enough motivation in me to wright another song.

i grab a notebook and walk over to my piano. i sit down and lift up the top of the piano.
i form some sort of melody until i'm happy with it.
later on, i added some other technical sound things to put it all together.

it's 5am, and i've finished my song:

a/n:
hi again.
yes, i am using a billie eilish song for this, please don't kill me.
i think i might use some more of her songs for y/n's 'original' songs.
i just like billie's songs and i think they work with how y/n is in this story.
please don't hate.
and y/n and ruel have now met properly! what do you think will happen next? pff.
please don't forget to comment and vote!

love you endlessly
🌸