run over - ruel vandijk

• drowning in my dreams •

i lay in the dark, looking up at the stars.
i couldn't see the vultures anymore, but i knew they weren't far off.

i'm scared. scared of dying. scared of never seeing ruel and owen again. owen probably doesn't even know i'm missing.

i sink with sadness at them. especially ruel. if i let it, the sadness could sink so deep, it could almost blank out my pain.

but not quite. not for long. not really. the pain was my whole world now. just pain and fear.

i wondered what i looked like right now. if some lost backpacker was walking by, i'd probably look insane to them. with my face a mass of cuts, bruises, and blood, i probably looked like something from a nightmare or a horror movie.

i close my eyes and try to come to my other senses. i was extremely thirsty. and hungry. i should've probably eaten more of what the man gave me.

i sighed. i guess my mum would be happy. she would be real happy that when she gave her daughter up, that she would end up dying like this.

i never really was afraid of death, i'd wish on it any day. but now that i found someone to love and i had found someone who loved me. i didn't want to give it all up. i wanted a chance, and i got one, and now i'm gonna die because i'm dumb and jumped out of a 7 story building.

i sobbed quietly, and the pain of my fear and loneliness soon felt even greater than the agony of my sore body. it choked the air out of my lungs.

i was alone. alone with pain. alone with fear. alone in the dark night.

* * *

i thought about what ruel could be doing. he'd probably be on tour right now. he said he wanted to tour in around september. well it's way past september now. i think.

i lost track of the days. after the day i was dragged and and saw sams body, i lost track. my mind couldn't handle that. and i don't even know how long i was out for.

the sun was coming up again. i yawned and smelled something foul. i looked at my shattered arm. the flesh that barely contained my shattered arm bones, was really dark, more like black, edging towards green. the smell was awful.

i took several long shaking breaths. i'd heard of gangrene before. it was was what happened when flesh died or the circulation was cut off. my arm was dying. the smell was so bad like the rotting of human flesh.

a vulture fluttered to a landing just a few feet away from my rotting arm. it stared at me with its weird eyes and bobbed it's neck. the vulture could smell the smell too.

with my good arm, i waved it away. it flew off and landed on the window i had fallen from.

"not getting me" i croaked, but the weakness of my voice just scared me further. the vultures were going to get her. they were.

* * *

i closed my eyes and dreamed feverish dreams. images that made me gasp and pant and caused my heart to beat really hard.

but the scary dreams turned into calm ones. i was lying on the beach with ruel again. everything was fine. everything was okay. he pulled me up and we ran to the water. he splashed me and icy filled drops fell down my back and i splashed him. he laughed and pulled me into a hug, swaying me back and fourth. i was smiling. smiling as i looked at his face. everything was perfect.

the sky turned dark and there was no one else there, only me and ruel. lighting struck several feet before us and i look up to see ruel but it wasn't him. i was looking into williams cold blue eyes. he smirked and pushed me under water. the water filled my mouth and splashed down my lungs. i thrashed as much as i could but williams hands held tight onto my shoulders.

i screamed and the water was everywhere. i was breathing it in. i was seeing it. in a way, i was it.

i look down, accepting my fate and saw sams body laying lifeless on the cold sand below my trembling feet.

i woke up panting from the sound of my own cry.
i sat up as i always do when waking from a nightmare.
i sat up.
the pain was terrible. my head pounded, my back, my arm, my knee all in excruciating pain.
but i sat up.

i'm surprised. i didn't think i could even move.

i sat up and stayed there. and until, an hour later, i did what i feared i would never be able to do again: i stood up.

i look up and two vultures were sitting perched atop on the window above me.

"guess you waited for nothing," i say.

a/n: heyyy i updated quick this timeee! hehe.

also i'd just like to say you should go check out Jorja_Salce 's fanfic. it's called 'a duet'. she's one of my best friends and she deserves a million views. so please go check it out! it's really good. :)