run over - ruel vandijk

• pain and silence •

time seems to go pretty quick. i like it. time hasn't gone quick for ages. it always seemed like time would just stop whenever i needed it to go fast. but hey, it's going fast now. only 20 minutes to go.

but maybe my life is testing me. i mean, i should be dead. like i frickin jumped from a seven story building and all this other crap. i think my life is pulling me to the end. like a test. like it takes me to my limits and makes me want death. i need death. but then it turns me into a different direction and makes me live.

i used to hate that. so many times i've been in near death experiences. i haven't told like anyone really but i've attempted suicide two times. but then again, life just switches up and turns me down the path where i feel pain. pain. that's all my life. it's like my life is saying "oh you try to kill yourself to stop the pain? well, here's some more pain." no matter what i do i'm always in some pain.

"what day is it?" i ask darren trying to turn away from the pain.

"tuesday..."

"hmm." i pause, "date?"

he looks at me with a puzzled look, then he realises, "oh um, he pulls out his phone, 5th of november... 2019."

"dude i know what year it is. jeez."

he laughs a loud laugh. then silence. the uncomfortable silence.

and then i realise my life isn't just pain. it's silence too. pain and silence.

* * *

the sun is warm, reflecting through the window onto my bruised, ugly face. we took a break about ten minutes ago at a petrol station. darren ran in to get me some more water and a towel to cover my arm. he said he was extremely squeamish with blood and wounds and all that and felt bad that he couldn't do anything to help me, physically.

there's only five minutes till we're there. i think i might make it. no, i will make it. gotta stay positive in this stupid cruel world.

i start to recognise where about we are. then i see the hospital. just in the distance. it's one of the best things i could see.

it's weird though. the only times i've been to the hospital for me is when i've tried to kill myself. it's weird. like my foster parents don't even care about me and bully me and bash me and all this crap. but when i try to do it to myself they all act like "omg why did you do that? why would you ever feel not loved" like honey show. me. some. lOve. i'd always rant about this stuff to sam.

oh my gosh sam.
they freaking have his body!
ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh.

"hey darren." i try and hide my stress.

"mm?"

"do you happen to know where abouts it was where you found me."

"oh, um...i think it was like uhh..." he presses his head against the steering wheel. "oh great, no i don't."

"oh i-"

"far out!? does this bloody kid know how to freaking drive?" he beeps his horn and takes over the driver, "i swear, people are so slow these days, almost like they've been taken over by snails."

i close my eyes and try to forget everything. try and forget me being taken, try and forget sam dying, try and forget my whole damn life. and picture myself at the beach, surfing with sam and ruel.

that's all i want.

i feel myself slipping away. my eyes go fuzzy and i hear nothing anymore. i see sam and ruel. i reach for them.

* * *

ruels pov:

i had a pretty good time with emma, she was a pretty cool girl. but i was really tired and ready to leave.

"do you have the time?" i ask her mum.

"yeah, hold on," she pulls out her phone, "it's 5:30. do you have to be anywhere?"

"uh yeah kinda," i scratch my head, "mum wants me back by 6 for dinner."

"oh that's totally fine, do you need me to drive you? or walk you out?"

"nah i'll just grab an uber or ask my sister, don't need a hassle."

"oh okay, well thank you so much for coming."

i smile and say my goodbyes. i hug emma one last time and head out.

i walk down the long corridors filled with nurses running frantically and the sounds of beeps and baby's crying. i turn the corner and walk down the steps slowly and walk into the waiting room. i sit on one of the seats towards the back. i pull out my phone and call coco.

"hey." she says.

"hi." i reply, "uhm could you come pick me up."

"uh okay, where are you?"

"the hospital."

"wait. what? why?

"seeing a fan, don't worry."

she sighs, "okay well i'll be a little while."

i chuckle, "cool thanks love you."

"love you too you psycho."

she hangs up before i could say anything else.

i look on the table next to me and grab a newspaper and read about the footy.

moments later some tall guy barged through the door carrying girls limp body.

"please! someone help!" he sounds scared.

a nurse comes running in with a stretcher bed thing and lays her the girl on it. the nude hooks her up quickly to this machine type thing and runs her off to the emergency room.

the man gets called to the reception and the lady there asks questions.

"what's your name?"

"darren grasby." i could see his sweat from here.

"your relationship to the girl."

"acquaintance i guess." the man fiddles with his jacket, he looked stressed.

"could you tell me what happened to the girl?" the receptionist asks clicking away on her computer.

"yeah okay um." he takes a breath, "uh well i was just driving home from work when i saw this girl barely alive, standing, but barely alive. she begged that i took her to the hospital and she was wrecked like she looked dead. i though she was. anyways she told me she got kidnapped like a month or two ago-"

my heart skips a beat. was that, y/n? i stand up so suddenly. i start to sweat.

"-she said the people who took her bashed her and showed her a dead body-"

holy crap...sam?

"-they kept hurting her and they left her in this room i think, she jumped out of a seven story building, uh i can't remember it all but it was bad. it was bad. she then fainted later in the car. like three minutes ago."

oh my gosh. did she really go through all that? tears form in my eyes as i pace back and fourth. why her? why her? just why?

"wow, um thank you, could you tell me her name, if you know it." the lady asks.

"she said it was...ugh...um..." he closes his eyes, trying to remember, "oh! it was y/n...y/n vondake? vondijk? vandijk? vandijk. y/n vandijk."

i don't hesitate. i don't think. i run to the emergency room.

a/n: oh my i'm sorry-